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Satire

Monday troll: UPDF mulls suing Zaake after MP runs like cheetah

Mityana Municipality MP Francis Zaake in action during the East African Parliamentary games in Arusha over the weekend. PHOTO/COURTESY

The UPDF has said it will consider dragging Francis Zaake to court to answer for “gross defamation” after the Mityana Municipality MP ran like a man “who has been faking torture and injuries for political scores.”

Zaake at the weekend showed that the huge mass of flesh on his body and all else was nothing as he outpaced fellow lawmakers to win the 100m sprint at the 2021 East African Parliamentary Games in Arusha, Tanzania.

The UPDF said: “This man has been claiming torture and whatnot, but how can we possibly have been arresting a man who runs like a cheetah? He’s fat, but look… a victim of torture would not have the fortitude to run like that unless he was running way from more torture.”
But Zaake laughed off the claims, saying he only assumed that his opponents were “Museveni’s goons after my life so I had to outpace them.”

Disclaimer: This is a parody column

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