To Top


1.Wouldn’t it be better if the census was carried out by our local artistes? Who wouldn’t want to be counted by Bobi Wine, Bebe or Chameleone?
2.Isn’t this whole census thing an advanced form of roll call? Can it be done, like at Namboole, where your name is called out and you just answer, “present sir”?
3.“Are you ready to be counted?” So the adverts go. Should we first take a bath and change into new clothes to show that we are ready?
4.I hear they even count goats and cows. So will the rats and mice under our beds be catered for as well? I’m just curious!
5.How will they count people like me, Sevo and those in big offices? Will they have to first make appointments too??
6.And what time will they come to count us? Which Ugandan will welcome you at lunch time? Mbu they don’t have extra food for you!
7.What method will they use to count those cannibals we read about in Rakai? Just who is ready to risk being eaten, for the sake of counting people? Hmm.
8.Imagine Walukaga made a census ad, would teenagers still be interested in being counted? Wouldn’t someone like Irene Ntale be a better choice?
9.So how shall we benefit from being counted? Will they give us more mosquito nets or will they buy pampers for our babies? Tufunila wa?
10. People were paying to be registered for national IDs, so shall we pay to be counted too?? Isn’t that what makes us Ugandan? #corruption.


Leave a comment

More in Columnists

  • What’s the Ugandan dream?

    You need a car. You run to the bank and get the loan. TRUE UGANDAN: There is a way many Ugandans...

    Ian OrtegaFebruary 26, 2021
  • No one knows it all, after all

    How the bayaye missed Mr Wine’s car, we’ll never know! A wasp waist. That’s what I had in mind for January...

    Jan NapioFebruary 26, 2021
  • Go all out and live life

    One of the things I tell people is that it’s important to work through your extremes. Whatever you think is a...

    Ian OrtegaFebruary 22, 2021
  • Interview with a slay queen in these covid times

    I am Shantel, I am waiting for my graduation. KLA CHICK: Anyone else wonder what life is like for the slay...

    Ian OrtegaFebruary 19, 2021
  • There’s more to life than Netflix

    I saw Kwiz Era’s art and I was roused – too bad I can’t afford it… yet! I found inspiration in...

    Jan NapioFebruary 19, 2021
  • Valentine’s is here, where’s your lover?

    VALZ DAY: We believe that song has been an earworm for many and the radios can’t stop haunting us about it....

    Ian OrtegaFebruary 12, 2021
  • In love? …Small doses at a time

    I used to think love was a fairy tale. Now I know it’s weed… I used to think that love was...

    Jan NapioFebruary 12, 2021
  • Kenya says “Nyanza” not welcome

    A Ugandan woman seeking asylum in Kenya has been given three options: “Return to Uganda, be deported to Uganda, or go...

    sqoopadminFebruary 8, 2021
  • In praise of potholes

    Why do Ugandans complain about potholes? BE PATRIOTIC: What is it about Ugandans that blinds them to the eighth wonder of...

    Ian OrtegaFebruary 5, 2021