Connect
To Top

Things to tell your friend who has lost an election

Look at it this way. We have all been rejected. But you have been rejected by the whole country. You are a legend!

Hey, at least you can now take those posters down. Man, they were so embarrassing! You looked like you were constipated from eating too many dried mukene.

You’re lucky you didn’t win. You know what happens to the winners? For five years people be complaining and whining at them, blaming all their zibs on them. At least you didn’t win, so you can now be the one whining and complaining and blaming all your zibs on someone else. Blame Joel Senyonyi for the fact that you lost in Ludo again.

The fact that you didn’t win doesn’t mean you are not a good leader. It just means people didn’t think you were good enough. Never mind the fact that so many really really lousy bogus crap leaders have managed to be elected in uganda. In fact, maybe the fact that you didn’t win means you are a good leader, because Uganda seems more likely to elect bad leaders than competent ones.

Don’t worry about not winning. There are plenty of opportunities for corruption and embezzlement and cronyism in the private sector.

 

Leave a comment

More in Satire

  • In love? …Small doses at a time

    I used to think love was a fairy tale. Now I know it’s weed… I used to think that love was...

    Jan NapioFebruary 12, 2021
  • In praise of potholes

    Why do Ugandans complain about potholes? BE PATRIOTIC: What is it about Ugandans that blinds them to the eighth wonder of...

    Ian OrtegaFebruary 5, 2021
  • Pick a leaf from Efrance, will ya!

    Probably the purest of human beings you will ever meet. ‘Small small’ things that keep me going is the knowledge that...

    CA KaruhangaFebruary 5, 2021
  • No votes, why get my ambulance?

    At least Anite pretended to care about people! Wonders shall never cease in the Pearl of Africa. This week, however, allow...

    Jan NapioFebruary 5, 2021
  • Vacant presidential positions in Uganda

    Tenants need a president who will be hard on house owners. A New Uganda: As we await results from the election,...

    Ian OrtegaJanuary 23, 2021
  • And the award from election week goes to…

    WINS & LOSSES: Last week was quite one like never before. Apart from the internet shutdown, social media blogger KS Brian...

    sqoopadminJanuary 22, 2021
  • Suddenly 2021 fast turned into 1984

    For the first time in decades, you did not need a power bank. Bush tales: For five days there, we were...

    Ian OrtegaJanuary 22, 2021