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The acute angle> Being single is not a crime

Ian Nkera Ford

So how far my people? Another year, another time to be happy to be alive. I assume all of you reading this are alive. Lol. This year has been angry to leave. Like honestly 2018, who hurt you? Slow down already.

Some of us are slacking on our year’s resolutions and not complaining. If you have not lost weight this year, maybe it is time to realise that you do not owe anyone a flat stomach. Wear your fat like armour. Fight every battle confidently for as long as it does not involve climbing stairs or rocking a fitting three-piece suit. Otherwise you are good. Just be happy to be alive.

Well if you are closing in on another year as a single person, we the ‘uglies’ need to start a support group to uplift each other. We cannot be bringing heat on our Instagram with fire pictures and no breathing homosapien dares to show interest.

Sadly, many people think like this. African parents raise you to believe the opposite sex are bad and evil, only for them to ring the alarm on your butt if you stretch your singlehood. Being single is a capital sin in many people’s eyes.

As people fall like apples every weekend in the form of marriage, everyone is focused on that one person. Yes, you that has not shown any fruits of your socialising life. Years are passing by while you linger around looking beautiful and ‘questionably’ single, they continue to ask themselves.

Ever present on people’s weddings looking like a full course meal that no one seems very keen to taste. Man people can mean to burge. Why you? What happened to you? Did humanity finally realise that your forehead was not that attractive? Did people discover that your personality was toxic?

All this is hate from people who never want to mind their own business and have callously forced so many people into relationships they were not prepared for.

Well, being single is no crime. Let people live. As much as marriage is a beautiful thing, being single is just as rewarding for different reasons. My lady friends are normally asked how they can be beautiful and yet single.

Why should a partner define you? Can’t somebody be beautiful and not have some lazy expectations attached to the beauty? It is funny how all these sengas whose marriages have failed to work be lecturing girls and asking them “what’s not happening”. It is not a race.

People should feel free to engage with whomever without feeling they have a target on their back. Young people should show up at family funcs with their hair down.

Unfortunately, they have to worry about being interrogated by peeps who will not mind their own business. Let people be single in peace and enjoy loving themselves. If the right person comes, it should be on their own terms. Are we clear?

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