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Kenzo this, Rema that

What a week for the social media relationship analysts/counsellors! These guys have the ‘full details’ and all the analogies you can think of  to judge why a celebrity couple broke up/should make up. It is an emotional rollercoaster. Who even knew bald-headed guys were a catch? Well, according to research by social media relationship gurus, Rema, the local singer, has a thing for baldies, which should logically explain why she moved on from Kenzo to another bald head warrior in the little-known doctor. We learn new things everyday, I tell you. As you must all be aware, the dimpled Rema will not be cozying up with Kenzo anymore and her heart belongs to a gynaecologist. It is for these reasons now and henceforth that I demand to know my woman’s gyna.These chaps move fast. I would ask why the hell we care about Rema moving on blah blah. Personally I do not. There are more pressing issues in this stressful life of ours than caring if a one Eddy Kenzo got his good night’s sleep. Such is the influence of pop culture in our daily lives that we cannot avoid it, now here we are.

Maybe the reason relationships are shaky these days is because of the jury which has no business to be in other people’s relationships. We are very fast to audit other people’s situations while we crumble in our own. Pointing fingers, looking to play devil’s advocate while we creep around and play perfect. The thing is, a relationship is between two people, and while public couples have their relationships played out in the public, it does not take away the fact that this is about two people. Their mistakes are not too different from ours. I noticed that the ladies naturally sided with Rema for choosing to walk out of her ‘studying’ project to find her husband. Apparently, she had waited far too long that it was only logical that the mango would eventually be eaten by… you guessed right, the doctor.

Allow me to wear my public jury’s robe and say that this disturbs me. The whole idea that the success of a relationship rests on a ring/rock being placed on the finger. There is a certain obsession with marriage by women that wears out relationships. And I say this generally. It is not even about the marriage in itself but the idea of being married as a social status symbol. Apparently being called ‘Mukyala wa gundi’ is every woman’s dream title. The social media experts claim that if he loved her that much, why didn’t he put a ring on her finger? And who said she was undervalued or underappreciated? It is this craze for a ring that has killed the beauty of relationships and scared young men out of long term commitments. How about I am committed to you and not to all these expectant eyes waiting for me to tie the knot. If there was ever such a predicament on Kenzo’s side about tying the knot, it is important to note such decisions take time. He should not be killed for it. In Rema’s defence, maybe things just did not work out. Another bald guy caught her fancy and they took it up a notch. Things happen. Look at me, relationships beef me but I still survive.

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