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Of nudes and foolish lovers


So you people enjoy seeing people naked, huh? Let’s make it a date and then we can go nude anywhere… Jinja Road or downtown. Maybe it has gotten too hot and many of you need a breather. There is surely no need to ‘leak’ nudes when we can give each other a show, publicly and for free. This ‘leaking’ business to torment someone for the rest of their lives while they continuously suffer from public ridicule should be stopped. Ask me and I will show you, but be prepared to do the same. People are so obsessed with what people look like naked and what extra-curricular activities people are engaged in when the lights go off. It is shocking.

Get your ‘gadgets’ out and let’s be petty. Chances are that none of them will. None of them is willing to go nude voluntarily, so why make fun of people whose privacy was violated? We have so many people who offset their insecurities onto others in the breath of body shaming but still won’t go to the beach in a low cut bikini. You know why? They have never embraced their own flaws but trust them to kill someone online whose nudes unfortunately leaked. Do better people.

From the commentary that follows all these nude scandals, it is obvious that people draw a lot of satisfaction from seeing these so-called celebs nude or rather they enjoy revelling in their shame. Others are just bored and want some entertainment. They pull out their phones and study these nudes like some Biology class apparatus. It is all laughter and memes. Guys, if my nudes ever land in your hands, please don’t laugh. It is not my art, it is God’s or photoshop. In fact photoshop. If some parts of me appear ‘microscopic’ or not representative of this seemingly ‘drop dead gorgeous man’ that some of you have gotten the privilege of knowing, it is NOT ME! Just know my haters are at work.
Ignore all the off-side hairs, unique features, uneven background. That is photoshop, guys! If the nude pics were overwhelmingly mine, then it would definitely not be my idea to have them out there. It took me many years to love my contoured love handles so I just can’t share them with the world, fwaa!

In a highly digital and sexualised world that we live in, taking pics and sharing them will just get easier, unfortunately. Internet is a lot faster, phone cameras are getting more sophisticated and it is just hard to control anyone these days from indulging in a selfie with clothes or without. Clearly, no one is learning from all the scandals in the past. Couples are forever craving to see each other’s meat. As I have said before, don’t do silly stuff with people that have nothing to lose because they will destroy you. If someone is hell-bent on seeing you naked, let them do it in person, in the right context (like marriage). This foolish love where you send your nudes at every mention of “I love you” is not worth it. Your body is your temple, guard it well. You cannot trust anyone on these streets. So many vultures that want you dead. Don’t let your guard down. Stay woke!

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