To Top


1.Naye Ugandans! Mbu they also celebrate Valentine’s Day! You people say Museveni has made you broke, but come Valentine’s and you are dining at Serena! So is it Museveni with the problem or our lousy selves?

2. You say petrol prices are so high but please show me a Ugandan who has left their car at home and decided to take a taxi because he can’t afford petrol!

3. You say how Uganda is becoming a failed state, naye come Friday and you are at Cayenne, then on  sato you are at Bebe Cool’s concert and Sunday at the beach eating fish! Honestly is that a failed state?

4.You say how our musicians are so basic and unprofessional but every time you hit the shower at your home you sing to yourself… “Bino birowoozo….birowoozo by’oyo eyagenda natadda…!” Honestly!

5.You say how it’s time for a change but come voting day it’s the man with ekikofera overwhelmingly voted for! Ugandans are weird aren’t they?

6.You say you had a tally centre of yours that was going to announce the true results of last year’s presidential elections, but to this day, we don’t know where that centre was, who was manning it and what results it came up with! Abafele…

7.You say Juliana Kanyomozi is now finished but every time she passes you in her car and waves at you, you go like….”Juliana tukumatila!”

8.You say how if Kagu passed by you , you would slaughter him but when the dude’s convoy passes your ka lousy car along Bombo Road, you wave at his convoy all grinning, going like…. “Mzee obewo!” Ugandans!

9.You say how banks rip off people when actually you’re a serial borrower from the bank and loan sharks as well!

10.You say how you are a Christian and God fearing but let the wife ask for your phone to find out the identity of the last call you received and you go like… “mukazi gwe tomanyira!” Ugandans … God bless us.

Leave a comment

More in Kalumba

  • ???

    1.Wouldn’t it be better if the census was carried out by our local artistes? Who wouldn’t want to be counted by...

    sqoopadminAugust 22, 2014
  • Babes can be annoying!

    1.Babes can be annoying! You go like… “Hi, what’s your name?” and she goes… “I’m married!” So what? If you are...

    sqoopadminApril 26, 2013
  • Anti-pornography Bill! Seriously!!

    1.  Truthfully of all things to discuss … simanya Anti-pornography Bill! Seriously!! How about we discussed Ken Lukyamuzi? Why does he...

    sqoopadminApril 12, 2013
  • Easter Egg

    1.  Mbu … Easter Egg … How did DJ Michael know about such stuff! 2. Mbu “My fans, please come to...

    sqoopadminMarch 29, 2013
  • Battle of the Champions

    1.  Mbu … “Battle of the Champions; Bobi Wine Album launch vs Bebe Album Launch!” How about we say, “Battle of...

    sqoopadminMarch 22, 2013
  • Why can’t Uganda have Presidential debates like the Kenyans?

    1. Mbu  … “Why can’t Uganda have Presidential debates like the Kenyans?” Gwe Stecia Mayanja shut up! You know nothing about...

    sqoopadminMarch 8, 2013
  • Swaggarific party at Club Rouge!

    1.Mbu “Bebe Cool Swaggarific party at Club Rouge!” Isn’t it more Swaggarific for Bebe Cool to add more windows on the...

    sqoopadminMarch 1, 2013
  • Mohawk haircut!

    1.Mbu Mohawk haircut! Wabula Ugandans! Aziz stop it! You look like a hungry primate with that simanya Mohawk! 2.Mbu Maurice Kirya...

    sqoopadminFebruary 22, 2013
  • Who the hell goes for a concert called …Swilili….lili…lili…?

    1.But Ugandans! Who the hell goes for a concert called …Swilili….lili…lili…? Honestly! What the hell does that mean? 2.Mbu Valentine! Ugandans...

    sqoopadminFebruary 15, 2013