Growing up in African homes for many of us meant canes (kiboko) were a lifestyle. They rained for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You were beaten for your mischief and just about everything, including breathing. Kiboko was our KFC. To put it lightly, we ate canes. An African parent spoke one language, and it was well communicated with you lying on the floor begging for mercy.
Imagine the mighty you, King of Kings at your school, or the Queen Bee losing your props at the hands of a merciless parent. Once the old man said lie down, there was no appeal. Anything you said after that would be used against you in court, headed by another ‘agent of terror’, your mother. There was no comeback for you whatsoever.
Today’s kids are grounded. Imagine! Our days, the only ‘grounded’ we understood was a civil servant’s boot getting planted onto your head as you rolled on the floor. Sometimes I think we were raised by some militia.
Even after getting your daily dosage of bamboo lashes, I do not think many of us thought of calling the police. Where do you find the guts? Oh boy, you would be told to look for new accommodation on your way to report. You would sit humbly and update your calendar for the next installment of kiboko.
Just recently, Frank Gashumba was in the news for allegedly ‘battering’ his 22-year-old TV presenter daughter, Sheilah Gashumba. As you would expect, he was accused of domestic violence by some sections of the public while others cheered him on. We remain to see if any of the accusations were indeed true.
Does domestic violence even exist when a parent disciplines their child? It is their child so they may choose to discipline the child whichever way they wish.In a parent’s eyes, you always remain a child and maybe they can be excused for wilding out at times. Are we a sensitive lot nowadays that kiboko raises alarm yet we grew up on kiboko diets all our lives with no problem? Worsestill, should a grown woman of 22 years be beaten by their parents?They should be a limit, I believe. Maybe parents should give a refresher course on how they did it.
It is a tricky one. Well, a parent still has the right to pump sense into their child’s head using other means. If Sheila went rogue, her dad had all the rights to fix it/fix her not through a battering. A butt-whooping might have been excessive for a lady that mature.
We cannot casually brush off domestic violence in this age. As much as we come from a generation where our parents laid it down proper, there is a way we can talk about it. A parent’s disciplining cannot be reduced to kiboko. No way am I accepting my dad to give me kiboks in my loose late 20s. Let’s talk dad, I am sorry.