Even Ugandan relationships survive on hope.
Surviving Uganda: In some countries, they survive by sheer luck. You count your days in terms of luck. If you run out of luck points, you are gone. To survive in those countries, is to win the jackpot. The luckiest get to survive…
There are countries, such as Nairobi where the strongest, the most assertive survive. Everything is about ‘push’. The pushiest, if that is even a word, survive. In Kigali, they will tell you, that the most silent survive. The less you speak, the less you appear to know, the better your chances.
But then there is Uganda. You do not see the strongest survive. You do not see the loudest surviving. You do not see the most intelligent surviving. You see a totally different group, aka the most hopeful. Uganda is a country of hopefuls. Take hope away and Uganda will not be able to hold a minute longer. It is hope that runs us here, it is hope that has sustained us since the second independence. Yes, Uganda has had two independence years, the first was 1962. The second was 1986. The 1986 independence declared a certain group free men and women. Free to try out the limits of their errors.
Remember when Mike Ezra threatened to buy Leeds United? Surely if you remember that fact, then it is hope that has kept you here. But yes, Mike Ezra was the gamba n’ogu of those days. He ran us on buckets of hope. He hoped to buy Leeds United!
Ugandan relationships survive on hope. The man hopes the hair and everything else will be real. The woman hopes the pockets will indeed be deeper as projected. The man sells nothing but hope, from the Introduction ceremony gifts, it is all about hope. If not hope, what explains the boldness of wedding budgets? How on earth do chaps that have never held millions make budgets of millions? Is it not just sheer hope in family, friends, and well-wishers? Aren’t the vows nothing but hope? For better or worse! Do you people know what the worst could mean? Only the hopeful can make promises to keep put during someone’s worst. We are a country of hopeful romantics. How on earth does someone sustain a relationship in this city? It is only hope! She must see a ‘future’ in you. And futures are built on beds of hope. At least, you must sell the hope that one day you could have a Green Card, and then someone’s daughter could be convinced to stay.
Our roads, those too, we maintain on hope. If you are in Kampala, you can only drive on hope. You hope for the absence of potholes. It is now a matter of hoping that the car misses the next pothole. Then you have the boda bodas, streaming in from all sides. The boda hopes the taxi has seen him, the taxi hopes the boda has done the same. And it turns out to be a dilemma of the hopeful.
Online shopping in Uganda is also a game of hope. You must hope that the item comes out exactly as it was marketed. In Uganda, we market hope. Just hope that the food tastes as nice as it looks on the poster. We cannot guarantee anything, but if you can hope, it can mean something.
When it comes to our politics, again it is hope. Hope that the man just wakes up one day and says, “my good people, enough is enough.” But it is all but hope. Every election, every year, that hope has remained alive. Too alive, that even a son is hoping the father can just hand over the mantle. But there should be a limit to our hopes. Because hope sustained on speech chits is one that will always crumble! But we hope that the generator will have fuel, and we hope that the fuel is fuel and not ethanol.
Back to our national team, it is hope. First, we hope that Ham will deliver an actual stadium, despite all the signs saying otherwise. There are some night lights over the ‘stadium’ to inspire hope. We are a country of appearances. If you can market hope in people’s minds, maybe they start to believe their illusions of hope. Our national team qualification chances are also held by hope. If Uganda can beat Tanzania, then Tanzania beats itself. Wait, how is that even supposed to happen? Again, my friends, hope!
We must hope that one day, Bebe Cool will be the international artiste he claimed to have been. We should not abandon hope, the same hope of Gazaland on Twitter. Because if not hope, how else did we believe the Shadow Angel’s story? If not hope, why do Man Utd fans in Uganda keep the fire? Hope will save this country! Or it could be hope that buries us!
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