“Avoid bad company” is a classical verse from the Parents- Know- It -All Bible every fresher joining campus will expect to hear this August. Unfortunately, for a hormonal 18-year-old, all that is just a bunch of crap. For a teenager, parents are just a bunch of clowns who “don’t know anything” and are hired to sabotage their life.
Think of a girl who will not have to see her barber again or that pathetic nurse-like school uniform she used to wear at the secondary school maximum prison. Helloooo!!! This is the life she has always dreamt about, so no parent is going to mess that up.
These kids begin packing for hostel the moment they put the final full stop on their last Uneb paper. Steven’s eight months’ salary at that local supermarket during vac will be used to buy a 32-inch flat screen TV lest he loses the love of his high school sweetheart Vanessa. He knows vultures will be scavenging over his ‘meal’ at campus so he can’t afford to take chances. He is ready for campus. Ask anyone and they will tell you that life was sweetest at campus and these vacists have heard all those stories.
Campus presents them a licence to do whatever they feel like, when they feel like. Bliss!!! They think campus is one big party or like some long freshers ball. Wama you guys are right. Campus is a blast filled with late nights and early mornings jumping from one hangover to another. It’s a party with reality as the theme. Think of campus as a party where a DJ drops hard hitting tunes of self discovery, temptation, bad choices, personal initiative and many others. As a student choosing to have a time of your life, you will choose which song to dance to. The songs of bad choices and temptation are catchy and so easy to dance to and these will have you dancing insanely.
But what is a party without alcohol or food? Alcohol is amazing and you could choose drinks ranging from ‘Bad Friends’ lager to ‘Impress Friends’ Lager and also ‘Chop Classes’ whisky. ‘Chop classes’ whisky is the cheapest and quite the tastiest drink so you might find yourself enjoying that one once in a while. Unfortunately the ‘Necessary Friends lager’ is seen as boring and outdated so you won’t find many people enjoying this one. ‘Attending Class’ cocktails comes at a cost but gives the best sensation. ‘The heights’ of this cocktail come with no hangover too so it’s really your choice.
And the food is even better. Imagine a free ‘expensive clothes and fancy cars’ buffet that is served with delicious ‘pregnancy cake’ or a ‘life threatening disease’ dessert delivered by an elderly waiter. Yummy stuff I tell you. The ‘first class’ muchomo will be given only to those who bought the ‘attending class’ cocktails.
Congratulations to everyone who is embarking on the journey of university. For those who are wondering what drinks I enjoyed at such parties, mine was the ‘Chop classes’ whisky. That drink took me places but certainly not to the hall for graduation. Nice weekend guys.