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How to be Beti Kamya, the ‘go getter’

 

THE MINISTER AND HER VIEWS. Beti Kamya has received all sorts of criticism for remarks made recently. Rumour has it, Mbu, she said President Museveni was smarter than all ministers in Cabinet combined. Kamya, ironically, is a former government critic turned minister in charge of Kampala. Which makes her, well not as bright as her colleagues. Do you still want to be like her? Read on.

The case of the ex has always been a complex one. While others wish to rinse themselves of any memory of their exes, a few are willing to run straight back into their arms.
Whichever way you look at it, exes suck. They hold you back at every opportunity, keep you in history mode and some of them have smelly feet. As trivial as that sounds, its remarkably true.
Do your research. Ladies, don’t fall for the “I am now changed” rhetoric. He is lying. Pack your bags and leave. Don’t forget to dip yourself in a fog of detergent on your way out. You need to rid yourself of the lies, deceit and false promises.

As much as this is a resounding message, we can be sure ladies will take it as gospel truth but still act otherwise. The scent of trouble grips ladies. They live for the lies that sit pretty on the bottom lip of an apologetic man.

Now check our beloved Minister of Kampala Capital City Authority, Beti Namisango Kamya. The kisses of her ex have made her wobbly in her knees and giggling like a love-struck teenager. Bad idea? The jury is out. In case you missed it, Kamya recently refuelled the ongoing age-limit debate by saying that Sevo could hang onto as president for as long as he felt like.
The former critic of the current regime shocked many with her revelations and shed her in more light as a “sell-out”, accusations she had long denied. To be like Kamya, here are your favourite idler’s tips:

A time to move on?
Denounce your love for your ex.Call a press conference and announce how they let you down. Who remembers how emotional Kamya got when she was talking about Sevo? Heartbreak is real.It felt as if she had lost her hero. And no, she didn’t run to social media to pour out her heart like today’s slay queens. She didn’t unload Bible verses on her Facebook wall to seek sympathy for her broken heart. She instead went out and channelled her sour grapes into the Reform Agenda, a train of people heartbroken by President Yoweri Museveni. The guy trampled on them in countless elections.

Anyway, Kamya eventually decided to start her own opposition party called the Uganda Federal Alliance which was what you would call ‘civilised beef’ against the ruling party. To be like Kamya, have a public falling out with your boo and announce it. Broadcast their flaws with every last MB available on social media. You must let the world know Ssekamatte was the biggest douche in the world.
This feeling doesn’t have to be permanent so keep your flimsy emotions of blocking numbers on the down-low. Chics will be deleting numbers yet they still have your number off-head. SMH!!!

Take whatever…..even the crumbs
We all know some of those chics who fade beyond recognition when they break up with their boyfriends. They go from handling iphones to itels or their faces go from Fabiola’s to Cecilia Ogwal’s in just a few months time.

They also go from frequenting KFC to Mama Yosiya’s for roadside chips. They go from filling the atmosphere with their Chanel perfumes to a pungent smell akin to Old dusty Taxis. So what happens when an ex they depended on for life offers some “crumbs”, they crawl back quietly and grab whatever is thrown at them. Did you guys see Kamya before she was appointed Minister? Hmm let’s not go there. She looked somewhat sorry. If you are honestly fading faster than a Chinese slipper, grab any bread crumbs thrown at you and just run. Hello bubu, don’t go hungry. Pick up the phone and call Ssekamatte. He wants you. They always do for sometime until…….

 

Rekindle That Love
You know how ladies get so hysterical when after they get back with a guy. They post pictures with the “ex-devil” and caption them with all kinds of “shibubu” nonsense. They will caress his pt-belly and lick the dirt off his boots. Love is blind anti. After he says “I have changed now” everything is back to normal.
They dream of forever- after until they find out that he just made some airtime-hawker pregnant. Hmmm this life!!! To be like Kamya, forget the past. Love him with all his flaws. Who cares if he might be too old to make you happy. I mean, its true what they say, AGE IS JUST A NUMBER!
There you go. Go ahead and be like Hon. Beti Kamya

 

 

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