To Top

HASHTAGS: Arua’s Stone Age and Arsenal’s unloaded guns

Ladies and gentlemen, if the last week has taught us anything, it is to never underestimate the power of a stone, especially a stone from Arua. Be it the technique used to hurl it or the strength of the granite at its core, the rock is going to create much damage. And while we are still taking in the fact that the stones are of such toughness, we can’t help but marvel at the intellect of these Arua people. When informed that there are certain cars that are well protected with BR6 Armour (mbu it is the realest armour out there), they just said, “Hold our ajono, we shall show you how it is done”.

So apparently, this is how it happened as reported by seasoned journalist @josh_mirondo

Hold on a second…what exactly happened here?

Well, the republic of twitter had quite some views about the entire ordeal including the stone, would you believe it! The stone also demonstrated the power of heralding certain career traits from all types of people. It was rumoured that journalism in Uganda was being stifled until the stone

As a matter of fact, journalism really surged to the fore. Even gadgets from the future came through to facilitate this real time reporting

Well, that said, Arua was a real time for the timeline. It is in our hope that our Ugandans always ensure their safety first in such tough times. Hust one for the road though; if you ever get on the wrong side of someone from Arua, here is your survival tip 101.

In international news (or something close to that), last weekend, husbands and boyfriends started leaving their homes for the pub. The Premier League season opened afresh, and the Arsenal camp was at its loudest again, for they had a new manager, the previous one having left after 22 long years, without a single stone pelted at him. The old school Arsenal banter reigned over the timeline for more than 6 weeks, with Emery this and Emery that all you could see. In fact the stadium was literally renamed from the Emirates to Emerytes.

The opposition camps were scared. It looked like Arsenal was back after all. A 2-0 loss to Manchester City on the opening weekend wasn’t enough for them to calm down. “We lost to the champions after all’. Then Chelsea came in, stomped the yard, and the timeline buried Arsenal. #CHEARS was the thing now.

After two game days, we started seeing an Arsenal all too familiar.

The realization hit us. It just might be a new coach, but hey, old ways die hard.

To some, even the new coach just might be below par. It is always a bad thing to raise your expectations, and the price to pay is always a painful one

Everything seems to be falling apart. You can’t help but have a good laugh at these trolls

Here is a new time folks. Hopefully the guns will go blazing this time. As you walk, make sure you watch your back. Even people who have sinned are now casting the stone first, and you would do good not to get caught.

@PirateMulwana on Twitter 

Leave a comment

More in Columnists

  • What’s the Ugandan dream?

    You need a car. You run to the bank and get the loan. TRUE UGANDAN: There is a way many Ugandans...

    Ian OrtegaFebruary 26, 2021
  • No one knows it all, after all

    How the bayaye missed Mr Wine’s car, we’ll never know! A wasp waist. That’s what I had in mind for January...

    Jan NapioFebruary 26, 2021
  • Go all out and live life

    One of the things I tell people is that it’s important to work through your extremes. Whatever you think is a...

    Ian OrtegaFebruary 22, 2021
  • Interview with a slay queen in these covid times

    I am Shantel, I am waiting for my graduation. KLA CHICK: Anyone else wonder what life is like for the slay...

    Ian OrtegaFebruary 19, 2021
  • There’s more to life than Netflix

    I saw Kwiz Era’s art and I was roused – too bad I can’t afford it… yet! I found inspiration in...

    Jan NapioFebruary 19, 2021
  • Valentine’s is here, where’s your lover?

    VALZ DAY: We believe that song has been an earworm for many and the radios can’t stop haunting us about it....

    Ian OrtegaFebruary 12, 2021
  • In love? …Small doses at a time

    I used to think love was a fairy tale. Now I know it’s weed… I used to think that love was...

    Jan NapioFebruary 12, 2021
  • Kenya says “Nyanza” not welcome

    A Ugandan woman seeking asylum in Kenya has been given three options: “Return to Uganda, be deported to Uganda, or go...

    sqoopadminFebruary 8, 2021
  • In praise of potholes

    Why do Ugandans complain about potholes? BE PATRIOTIC: What is it about Ugandans that blinds them to the eighth wonder of...

    Ian OrtegaFebruary 5, 2021