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My dating mares: He has a thing for single mothers

married

…I think he is best placed, the Rukungiri guy has landed in Kampala, the land of single mothers.

Mercy was worried of his status as a single mother. Little did she know that she wasn’t the only one, single mothers are as many as the sand in the ocean and they are not just about to disappear.
Luckily for her, her boyfriend Kenneth loves his women that way, single and mothering. For whatever reasons, I thought he assumes they are the independent type, mature in reasoning and just not about to ask for a share of his pitiable salaries.
When I spoke to her, she seemed happy. She cheekily said, “I love Ken. But I am not just sure why he fancies single mothers. In his history, every ex he talks about has a child who is not his”.
Is it only a coincidence? See, many Ugandan men dread dating mothers. They find everything about it weird. Even those who have made the same mistakes in the past and abandoned their responsibilities still find everything wrong with dating a single mother.
I know it just doesn’t happen. By the time one is left on her own with a child, it means another party, obviously male was involved. May be, just may be Kenneth is making up for his mistakes in the past.
During his first year at campus, he met this innocent belle who was only ready to experience life. He lured her into sex and the two had a six months affair later on. When she conceived, he was quick to allege that his friend was responsible. “Don’t you see? Ritah would come around in my absence and my best friend would host her,” he told his parents and everybody else who cared to know.
Unlike Mercy, some choose to be single mothers. But for whatever reason, they are not lesser beings. I know it for a fact that Ken thinks so to. At one point he came to my apartment and asked how I was fairing. “I think I need a kid,” I joked.
He burst out in uncontrollable laughter and asked whether I had a man in mind to father the kid. Ofcource not. He then went on with his delirious speech.
“You know, I am an only child, and my mother raised me on her own,” now I understand him perfectly. “He must be making it up to her mother as well,’ I thought. But no, he interjected, he said he wants to take care of these women whose men have disappeared because somehow they are easy to control.
True, he went on; not only are single mothers gullible but also more respective. Any time I need her, she will be here and will do all kinds of things that I ask her to do, including the ‘dirty job’. She doesn’t even know where I live but she is confortable. When I’m financially down, she will surrender the money meant for her baby’s milk or treatment.
Mercy doesn’t expect anything from me. By taking care of her daughter single handedly, she must have realised that life doesn’t revolve around another person. On a date, she carries her own transport and pays for the bills sometimes. I know how to feign brokenness and let her take charge. My Mercy is not entitled to anything. She is just that- the good mother and girlfriend.
I was becoming irritated at his speech. For some reason I thought the poor girl deserved more than this fake gratitude. But no, Ken was ready to talk on and on.
Do you think I’m lying? I do not know about other single mothers but I know that Mercy and my three exes are submissive. The only problem is they want you to father their children; one time I went to visit her and she asked whether I had carried ice cream for her little one. I was mad at her (not visibly ofcource). What? Did she think I was her father? For crying out loud, I am only her boyfriend.
…And here I was thinking men were as caring as women. When a woman dates a single father, she comes around with all sorts of niceties, takes the little girl for hair do, to the park, to the pool and immediately wants to take her mother’s place. Why is it different with the guys? The best they can do is say a cold ’how is she?’
Okey, I was getting all my questions answered after all. So I let him go on. He said: She is annoying sometimes; she wants this thing between us to be more serious than it is, Ofcource I’m not ready. She keeps telling me that I am her final try and that tries my patience.
From Ken’s monologue, I understood a few things. One, that a few men will date single mothers, and only with intentions such as Ken’s. It has always been like that. Traditionally, the same way men will want a virgin for a girlfriend when they broke theirs a decade ago, is the way they will shun a single mother, even when they are fathers of four.

ewatsemwa@ug.nationmedia.com

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