NURSING HEARTBREAKS: There have been stories on different social media platforms of youth crying about their broken relationships. Sadly, some of these stories have been quite gut-wrenching as they have included suicidal tendencies. But, as we all know, committing suicide has never been a solution to handling a heartbreak. There are other ways of nursing a broken heart. Esther Oluka sought out six young people who have gone through devastating relationships and nursed broken hearts with sleepless nights, but found a way to bounce back.
I talked to friends
Tereza Tamale Nantongo, 28, businesswoman
“I have been heartbroken thrice. However, I will tell you about my last heart break. Earlier this year, I found out that my partner was cohabiting with another woman. And honestly, I was deeply hurt after discovering his secret. I was wounded mostly because he had already proposed marriage and I was looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him. Besides, we had been very fond of each other. I had many sleepless nights after discovering he had someone else. But anyway, I decided to end the whole thing and move on with my life. I did a few things to help me cope, including talking to a few trusted friends as well as praying over the issue. I also got comfort in the fact that I at least made the discovery before marrying him. Imagine If I had found out about the other woman after we had gotten married… things would have obviously been very bad for me. A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.”
I turned to God
Dorcus Linda Eladu, 22, student
“I went through a heartbreak in 2017 during my first year at campus. The guy used to cheat on me a lot. He was unfaithful and disrespectful. He was also selfish and only cared about himself. It is for these particular reasons that our relationship ended. The breakup obviously affected me. My studies were affected as I slipped into depression. There were moments I would go to bars and drink a lot to try and forget the pain. And whenever I was sober, I would break down into tears. And as time went on, I started distancing myself from people. I always wanted to be alone.
As time went by, I began to realise that crying over this guy was not worth it. It was a complete waste of my time. In order to cope with the heartbreak, I started associating myself more with meaningful and understanding friends. Also, I turned to God, praying for Him to heal me from the heartbreak. As we talk now, I am happier and thankful that I walked away from that toxic relationship. I am now healed. If you are out there and are in a toxic relationship, my advice is that you walk away from it. In case you are finding trouble walking away, talk to a trusted friend and seek their opinion. Do not die in silence. A genuine friend will give you the best advice. Besides friends, you can also talk to a counsellor. Some of these counsellors even work at the university. They will help you out. Do not forget to seek God’s intervention through prayer. Divine intervention is good for the body and soul.”
I got out and busy
Joseph Settuba, 22, entrepreneur
“Whenever people say the first cut is the deepest, I agree. When my first relationship ended, the experience was devastating. I was in this relationship for quite a while, and, things were going smoothly. But as we grew up, our dreams and goals in life began to change. We began getting on opposite sides of almost everything. We started pulling each other down rather than conveying support to one another. It is for these particular reasons that we eventually decided to end the relationship.
The separation threw me into depression, loneliness and denial. I was desperate for answers and a way to fix things. All kinds of dark thoughts run through my mind. I withdrew from my friends and family members. But as time went on, I began to realise that I had to move past the breakup. In order to get past everything, I slowly started accepting that the relationship was over and that I had to move on. I must admit though that it was the hardest part of my healing process.
I felt all kinds of emotions from anger, regret and pain.
As I experienced all these different types of emotions, I confided in some trusted people who comforted me from time to time. I later came to realise that talking to someone always helps, it is better than going to social media to rant about personal issues. I also found other ways of keeping myself busy. I went to the gym, jogged and danced to loud music. Finally, I decided to go out and meet new people and along the way, made some new good friends. Doing all these things have made me a much better person. To all those going through a breakup, get help by talking to someone or re-priotising your aspirations. Ranting on social media is not the solution.”
I focused on work
Anisha Hamis, model
“About two years ago, the guy I was dating left Uganda for Paris to do business, a move that affected our relationship. Along the way, we lost communication. I was heartbroken by the events. The outcome of the whole thing was frustrating. I ended up overthinking things as well as getting depressed. As time went on, I tried to find ways of dealing with the breakup.
I started watching more movies, reading books, listening to music, going out with friends and most importantly, focusing on work. I really tried my best to keep busy. Today, I am much better than I was at the time. Also, I met someone else and today, we are in a healthy relationship. To everyone out there going through a heartbreak, my advice is that try as much as possible not to give yourself a lot of time to think about the incident. You can do this by keeping yourself busy. Prioritise on your hobbies and doing what you love.”
I cut off my hair
Hillary Niwamanya, 23, Mr Y+ 2018/19
“I broke up with a girl in 2016 because the mother was not supportive of our relationship. I think she did not like the idea of me being with her daughter because of my HIV status. I am a person living with HIV. Our relationship started in January 2016 and ended in August, the same year. I really liked this girl and did whatever I could do to support her, including financially. When things failed to work out between us, I thought of killing myself at one point. I could not imagine living without her. However, since I had confided in my best friend, he always comforted me as well as gave his assurance that things would be fine. He was by my side throughout the entire ordeal. She was fond of my hair, but, after the relationship ended, I cut it off completely as a toast to new beginnings. I am a much better person now. To everyone out there nursing a broken heart, it is important to always talk to someone you trust about the issue. Secondly, you need to learn how to live without that person in your life. Thirdly, you need to know that such incidents are part of life. Do not end your life because a relationship has not worked out. You have a bright future ahead of you. Besides, you will get someone else, sometimes even a much better person than your ex-partner.”