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Four One One

The Monday troll: I didn’t want attention at boxing event – Bobi

NUP party president Bobi Wine. PHOTO/FILE

Former presidential candidate Bobi Wine has clarified that his cameo appearance at a boxing bout in Lugogo at the weekend went as planned despite appearing to have been ignored by the organisers.

The bout, featuring the three Olympians of Shadir Bwogi, Catherine Nanziri and David Ssemujju launching their professional careers, saw the NUP gladiator arrive and leave with the organisers not giving a pig’s detail that a VIP, political wig and celebrity was in the house.

Some of his fans were not amused but Bobi’s inner circle has since claimed he did not want attention.

“You know Bobi is a retired pro fighter with 100 per cent win record after knocking out a Sudanese,” said Eddy Mutwe.

“People would have asked him to enter the ring and maybe even to fight, we didn’t want that.”


RDCs appointments: Uganda to be sued

A neighbouring country is considering dragging Uganda to the UN Court of Social Justice after viral reports that a minister appointed her daughter, brother and husband to public offices.

The neighbouring country claims it has for years exercised this practice to promote “eat and let eat” but now Uganda is aping their political culture.

“We ignored it when Uganda started promoting too many people to military general because we thought they were paying tribute to us who have the most number of Generals in the world,” an official said.

“But we can’t ignore the aping of yet another of our culture otherwise you might attempt to artificially make your people tall like us.”


Classified budget for VIP escorts

The mood in Parliament is that there will soon be a classified budget to cater for escort services of VIPs after it emerged that some were complaining of the “inadequate manpower” in their security detail.

Sources say most of the officials who are driven in convoy have since last week been asking for a review in their own security with Parliament left confused.

Some officials in Parliament told the Troll in confidence that the parliamentary commission was still trying to find out why the sudden clamour for added security details by some of the VIPs.

At this rate, the official added, there will be a need for a classified expenditure bigger than that of Defence.

“Last time there was a convoy that arrived, we thought it was the President arriving with a North Korean top official but it was the Deputy Speaker. We need more money to fund these things,” the source said.

Disclaimer: This is a parody column

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