FESTIVE SEASON: December is the time to make merry. There are a lot of events from company end of year parties to Christmas and New Year parties and weddings. Whether you are hitting the village or staying around town, Angela Nampewo guides you on surviving December.
There is a reason why January has earned a reputation as a very unkind month. This of course is not January’s fault. As we get into each New Year, we leave behind a trail of party debris in the form of mountains of empty beer bottles, broken hearts, empty pockets and party dresses we will never wear again because we wore them to too many parties where we stomped down on the dance floors of every nightclub and village compound last December.
This December, the words of singer Katy Perry in the hit song, Last Friday Night, will ring true for many partygoers at the end of many a party night. You will wake up wondering why there is a pounding in your head and a stranger in your bed. As we go into the festive season with its endless offering of parties, beware what awaits you at the end of the festivities.
There will be many parties
As it is every end of year, there will be an unhealthy number of parties. To understand the magnitude of the party challenge at hand, count all the corporate companies, add to that the December weddings and kasikis, the theme parties, beach parties and all the parties that everyone is throwing just because…
In fact, sometimes it will feel like there are not enough hours in the day to squeeze in one more party. And yet, many of the bashes will be too good to pass up. Anyway, it does not matter whether we have been invited or not, somehow, we will show up.
To take leave or not
The invitation cards have already started flowing in and with them, the realisation that some of the parties are happening a long way out of town. When the official Christmas break is taking its time getting here, you may start nursing ideas of taking a French leave. Before you do anything rush, just remember the boss will still be there when you sober up and there will be hell to pay when the party is over. Start sorting out the parties you can safely attend before the Christmas break and save those of out-of-towners for late December and pray that your boss will not want you back just when things are beginning to heat up.
Plenty to drink
It is the season of making merry and the drinks will be flowing in this land well-known for its beer and waragi-guzzling citizens. As you throw back those shots of tequila, spare a thought for the sniff police. If you cannot call a cab after downing one too many, park the car and brace yourself for that walk, errh, stagger of shame.
If you possess the rare and elusive hangover prevention pill, you are a lucky fellow. The rest of us usually have to wait for the full wrath of the almighty hangover, which we always know is coming, especially after knocking back various tribes of alcohol. Whatever your morning after remedy, (I recommend katogo and mulokony) , I strongly advise against that whole “hair of the dog” thing where you just keep drinking more beer to stop the one you already drank from hurting you.
Watch your waistline
As you party this season, remember that there will be plenty to eat and the temptation will be hard to resist. One of my favourite parties was the one where I sat at a table with a group of ladies who kept passing up cakes because the sugar would “go to their hips”. Well, skinny me just smiled and wolfed down the sugary delights of course. This is not to say the food will not go to your hips, because it really does. And we all know that hips don’t lie.
Not enough to wear
To cope with the barrage of parties that is about to hit you, start rearranging your wardrobe. If you are a girl, make sure you have many little black dresses. After the first five parties, trust me no one will remember that you wore the same one last week. If like me you have a guy who sells you shoes on credit, ask him to find you many pairs in various colours and bring out all those hair extensions and wigs because there will not be time or money to keep weaving and curling your hair at the salon in between parties. Just throw on a different coloured wig and you are good to go.
For the guys, well, have some clean clothes on hand and everybody duck when you see a camera. Just like last year, the fashion police people will be there.
Too little sleep in between
Sometimes you will party until the sun comes up. Before you say never, let me tell you that these shindigs have a way of evaporating the night. You will walk out of the nightclub, pub or wedding party into the morning sun. The bright light of day will make you question the wisdom of yesterday’s messy clothes and the coated makeup. Just dust yourself off, embrace the new day and start planning for the next party that evening. If you have trouble staying awake through it all, pinch yourself and remember you are not alone. There will many party animals dragging themselves around like zombies from one party to the next.
Money is tight
And now, the most important question of the season. How are you going to pay for all the partying? It costs money to be dressed right and to move from one party to the next. If you have a car, it is going to cost a lot of fuel. If you don’t have a car, you are going to have to book several lifts in advance or put your boda guy on standby to ferry you across town at ungodly hours. At some of these dos, you will have to buy expensive drinks whose names you cannot pronounce to impress girls you may never see again.
It is going to be one long and continuous party this December and sometimes along the way, you will wonder where all your money went, who you kissed and how those pictures from last night ended up online. But like the characters in Katy Perry’s song, regardless of how much pain this year’s partying causes you, you will do it again next year.
