Connect
To Top

Meet the new breed of Ugandan boyfriends

They seek out the independent ladies

Dating Life: There is something about the male gender and always crafting ways to make their move or mark their territory. When the bad boy move gets old, you cook up new strategies.

Welcome to the new breed of Ugandan boyfriends, the ones that defy all stereotypes. They are everything a girl has ever wished to have in a boyfriend. They are beyond boyfriends, they are the kind you would introduce to your parents within hours of meeting them. Let’s delve deeper into this new breed.

The new breed of Ugandan boyfriends henceforth known as the snipers are never in a rush. As a true sniper, they will always zero down on their target and wait for the perfect moment to shoot. They seek out the independent ladies, the ones who think they do not really need a man in their lives. The ones that can pay their own bills, have bought their own cars, have travelled the world, have a lot going on with their lives. For these kinds of ladies, they need a man who can handle a strong and independent woman. A man who will not feel insecure around such a woman. The snipers fit this billing.

These strong and independent women, in their late 20s and early 30s, are always busy. It is hard to get them to commit to a date. Yet, this sniper will not be desperate. He will try the first time, get turned down. He will always be around to propose something. It will always be something in line with her interests. He knows her fully well. He will be on the lookout for events or activities that speak to the ladies’ interests.

“I know you love painting. There’s this painting dinner happening on the Speke Marina, do you mind coming with me to it?” The lady will give excuses of how she doesn’t have the right attire for the moment, how she is busy with work. He will respond; “don’t you worry. I have this Amazon express. Please select the dress you want, and I can get it here for you.” For everything that seems like an excuse, he will have the right armor to disarm it.

The sniper goes all the way. He goes the extra mile. He won’t just send transport money. He will send you a dedicated driver with whom to run all your errands. He will even offer to do the shopping with you.

“Jasmine, a lady needs to be treated like a lady. Let me handle your struggles. Relax and let me take care of everything,” Mr Sniper will request. He knows his role as a provider and a protector. He doesn’t need to be reminded of this role.

Unlike the boyfriends of the stingy men association, this one is in the generous men association. He cares for your family and friends. And it is all genuine. “Don’t worry, I can pick up your little brother from school. By the way, isn’t it your mother’s birthday next Friday? I was thinking we should buy her that washing machine, I had already placed the order,” he tells her.

The sniper takes care of all the small details, the things an average Ugandan man never remembers. He knows when you first met, there will be a fortnight anniversary to commemorate the first kiss.

To him, his new target is the best in everything. He will hype her for her intelligence, her beauty, her command of the queen’s language. He will make her feel on top of the world. Above all, he is consistent in his ways. There is never a day when he will fall short.

This new breed of Ugandan boyfriends will give you the space when you ask for it. Never will you feel suffocated in their presence. Remember, for them it is not a sprint, it is a marathon. You want to delay the sex? Not a problem, they will do as you ask. They are here to show you a different kind of love, an unconditional love.

You will meet their parents. They will request to meet your parents. Your parents will be awed by the aura of their presence. They are perfect cooks. They will even make you sushi at home. Whereas other Ugandan boyfriends are secretive about everything, not for the sniper. You will know all their sources of income. They will give you all their bank details, a copy of their house keys. They will introduce you to their shamba boy as the new boss. Of course, the shamba boy knows the drill. You are just another phase in his life. They will make you feel like a wife before you ask for it. They will even propose names of the future babies.

“I guess we should name our baby Ortega, what thinks you?” he will ask. In an era when Ugandan men run from responsibilities, these ones have a sense of duty. As a lady, you will say; “God this is all I had always asked for. A man who understands me. A man who can handle me.” It will be too good to be true. You can’t believe such men existed.

You attend business meetings with them. You buy land together. You do everything as a couple. The snipers have learned that in life, when you are not in a rush, you eventually get whatever you are trapping. Time will get you any girl in this Kampala. Don’t rush. Don’t panic. Don’t be too needy. Show them you have a world of your own. Bring them into that world.

The sniper knows how to cast a spell. Most girls who date them never get to move on. They will think it is their fault they broke up. They will lose all hope of finding someone like them. They will slide into a depression. It is at that moment when you will know that the sniper’s mission has been fulfilled. And off they go to another target.

Welcome the new breed of Ugandan Boyfriends, aka the Team Snipers!

Twitter: ortegatalks

Don’t want to miss out on any story? For updates on all sQoop stories, follow this link on Telegram: https://t.me/Sqoop

Leave a comment

More in Columnists

  • GNL Zamba to open Hip Hop pop up shop

    Ever since Earnest Zamba popularly known as GNL Zamba returned from the US, he became a changed man both musically and...

    Isaac SsejjombweOctober 26, 2021
  • The Monday troll: ‘UCC will ask Ugandans to sleep early’

    Local broadcasters have expressed fear that the Uganda Communications Commission will soon decree that Ugandans sleep early to avoid watching gossip...

    Faith AmonginOctober 25, 2021
  • They shall be known by their football club

      Small small hints: There is a saying that you can tell a lot about a Ugandan judging by their football...

    Ian OrtegaOctober 15, 2021
  • Salaama Road: Mother of Potholes

    Typical: If Najeera is the home of chaos, Salaama road takes the award; ‘home of massage parlours.’ Everything in Salaama road...

    Ian OrtegaOctober 8, 2021
  • Kampala’s laws of money

    When it comes to money in Kampala, we bargain in Luganda. Typical: The worst mistake is to pledge at a Ugandan...

    Ian OrtegaOctober 1, 2021
  • The typical Ugandan week

    According to MC Africa, Pia Pounds owns Friday while Kenzo owns the weekend… Typical UG: On Tuesday, you could wake up...

    sqoopadminSeptember 24, 2021
  • You should not be single in Kampala

    It’s not hard when you appreciate yourself and ignore the expectations of others… Typical UG: When you’re rolling solo, it can...

    Ian OrtegaSeptember 17, 2021
  • What if we never return to a normal?

    Typical UG: Recognising that the virus will be with us for a long time. Questions still linger if this is the...

    Ian OrtegaSeptember 10, 2021
  • Uganda: There was a music industry

    In the past, politicians came to the musicians… Typical UG: If somebody landed in Uganda today, they would be mistaken to...

    Ian OrtegaSeptember 3, 2021