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The monday troll: Slay queens curse Rozina Negusei for clinging to Akon

Several slay queens have been silently cursing Rozina Negusei for “super-gluing” on the Lonely singer, saying she is standing in the way of Akon’s investment in their more salacious business.
Negusei has been by Akon’s side since his arrival in the country, handling some of his deals. Several slay queens who had been hoping the Senegalese-born American RnB singer would “invest” in them with top dollars and probably a baby, are now frustrated.

“She’s even short like a pin,” one posted on Facebook. “Why can’t she behave like Tomeka Thiam, Rachel Ritfeld and Tricia Anna who are enjoying their shares from wherever without having to come and superglue on Akon in our face?”
Thiam, Ritfeld and Anna are said to be Akon’s wives or girlfriends too.
“That man loves Uganda and he knows what we got here but that tiny thing she came with has messed up all our chances,” another slayer said.

Leave my Fufa alone, Magogo tells Mutyaba
Fufa president and Budiope East MP has urged former Cranes international Sulaiman Mutyaba to invest his emotional wellbeing in Ramathan instead of looking for excuses at Fufa.
“This Fufa, I picked it from rubbish and made it what it is now,” Magogo said. “Suddenly, even a football failure like Mutyaba now thinks he can discuss Fufa.”
Magogo challenged Mutyaba to bring anyone who remembers him playing for the Cranes.
“As far as I’m concerned, you did nothing. In fact, your recent massive failure in local elections is a bigger achievement than what you allegedly did with Cranes,” Magogo fumed.
Mutyaba ran for Mutundwe Parish LC5 Councillor but failed in February.
“This is my Fufa, I made it. It’s not a place for political hangover. Go and fast, ask Allah for relief from that pain.”

Bebe Cool pins Alpha goal highlight on giant screen
Singer Moses Ssali, aka Bebe Cool, has mounted a 65” smart TV in his living room that is exclusively for playing highlights of the Alpha Thierry Ssali’s wonder strike for Proline in the Uganda Cup.
The youngster turned from a near-ballboy situation in U20 Afcon to leave Myda players shell shocked as he waltzed past them, nutmegging defenders to hit home a glorious strike.
The goal helped Proline thump Myda 4-1 in the first leg of Uganda Cup and proved decisive over the two legs as Proline advanced.
And his father Bebe Cool cannot have enough of it. He has been inviting whoever can find his way to his home to watch the clips that plays on repeat like a bar signage advertising drinks.
He invited Akon to watch the clip, and has asked Bobi Wine to his home too.

Disclaimer: This is a parody column

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