It took me a long time, but I eventually figured out that who I think I am has a direct correlation with how life’s journey will pan out. You see, there are so many identities and dictates thrown at a human the moment they are pulled out of the womb. By the time you are lucid enough to decide for yourself who you truly are, the narrative has already been woven for you and what most of us do is just pick it up adopt it as our own. Then we grow up and society also throws labels and unfortunately, we stick them up on our collar right next to the ones that were pinned on us while we were children.
You might walk around with your head held high and leave a stream of social media posts about how highly you think of yourself and how you don’t care what others say, but who’s fooling who? Deep down, sometimes even subconsciously, you believe that trash. So when no one’s watching, you crawl back into your bag of labels bestowed upon you by society and go through them one by one, as if to reinforce their power over you.
Change starts from the inside. Change how you see yourself, before you kill yourself trying to convince the world that they are wrong about you. If deep down you think you are not good enough, brilliant enough, up to the job, innovative enough, then you won’t be. Yes I know you can fake it till you make it, but you could also die faking it and basically be buried a fake and all for what? Just to prove a point that even you didn’t believe in the first place?
When was the last time you reaffirmed yourself and how often do you do it or are you one of those people who think that’s stuff for troubled people being duped by self-help book authors? No seriously, indulge me just a little bit, say it out loud (or under your breath if you have prying ears close by) 10 true and good things that describe you. It might sound like self-praise but it’s not. It’s knowing who you really are regardless of what you might feel like at a particular moment. This way, you will not always depend on external motivation to keep going.
So when a new boss shows up and says you suck, or the taxi driver and his mouthy conductor say you are a malaya because you won’t let him snake his way in front of you in the traffic, or a small idle mind goes the extra mile to make you feel a certain type of way, that won’t demoralise you and have you looking down on you. Know your truth, who you are and work towards filling that vacuum. Don’t just show up and wait to be labelled by demented self-appointed public judges and then take what they say as gospel truth. Come on, you are better than that. Happy Women’s Day.