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Someone get me with Kaluuya

I will dedicate my 20% NSSF savings to our movie.

Daniel Kaluuya

Who has Daniel Kaluuya’s number? I have things to tell him. There’s this movie I have been acting in my mind for the past three decades titled, “Who moved my engule?” I don’t care if he is Ugandan or Kenyan, me I just want to share my movie ideas and also ask him about Aung San Suu Kyi and Myanmar. You know, like have one of those really random conversations that sound intelligent but mean nothing.

Then maybe we can listen to some Daft Punk and Bunny Wailer music which I don’t really know, by the way, but I will pretend to know because that’s what we do here. When an important person dies or a band splits and the news is all over the place, we quickly rush to google and get a brief background on who they are then come back to make posts like we are the experts on the said important people. And I am not even judging because I also do those wannabe things. After all, one can’t know everything all the time, right? No? Fine! Stay on your high goat.

The truth is, sometimes you have to fake it to make it. Those tweets are not going to retweet or like themselves. So, no judgement from here, I am just saying ko. Otherwise for the legit Wailer fans, I commiserate with you. Good thing with good music (see how I rhymed back there) is that it lives on long after the artiste is gone or in the case of splitting bands like Daft Punk, after they go their separate ways. Meanwhile did you see their epilogue video? It was breaking-up goals! Dear reader, if you have no idea what I am talking about, you are not alone. I also don’t understand certain things, for instance; why the list of missing persons has refused to show up. Is it on a missing list too somewhere?

Anyway, back to the all-important issue of my movie and conversation with my mate in the struggle Kaluuya. It won’t even be a high budget movie. I plan to use some of my NSSF mid-term access funds. So yes, I am one of those people who are holding their breath for the President’s assent to the Bill. Although to be honest, when I calculate how much my 20 per cent is at the moment, it can only afford me a fifth hand iPhone 12 Pro Max.

At some point I considered telling my landlord that I couldn’t make this month’s rent and that I would pay him as soon as the President signs and I can apply and get my savings but I saw my life and didn’t. So my 20 per cent is still for the movie. Unless that young man, Derrick Kakooza, who made us proud when he scored four goals against Tunisia in the Total Under 20 African Cup of Nations wants it. If he does, it’s all his. In fact, if we win that game against Ghana tomorrow, I will talk to the court of public opinion and petition it to add him to the list of first priority receivers of the Covid-19 jab.

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