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I admire thee John Katumba but sorry I won’t vote for you

You inspire madness in me, the good kind of madness…

John Katumba

Twenty million shillings; I can think of  20 million things to do with that kind of money if it was handed to me right now and running for president is not one of them. Even if the fee required to contest for president was zero shillings, it still would never be on my list. In fact, it would never occur to me to run as village chief even if I was the only qualified candidate in the village and no qualifications were needed.

If you asked a random 24-year-old this side of the world to share their most urgent aspirations, the wish list would include a 50×100 plot of land, a Subaru , a hot ka chic with hips and eyes for days, a rich and generous 30-year-old fiancée, some random social media business, a wardrobe to die for, free travel treats around the world, a verified Twitter account, a huge following on the gram, free MBs from MTN or Airtel, pay yaka, a Brazillian weave, rolex, etc.

Never do you think of using your early youth to literally run your unknown non-affluent self to a nomination ground and table your intentions before all and sundry to become the head of state of an actual country. It does not make sense. Where is the catch in all this? Why in the world would a toddler want to join ex-guerrilla fighters, a self-confessed ghetto fadha, a shoe-less engineer and others in a complicated political mud fight? Not even the David and Goliath story applies here because in that story, David only goes forth because there is no other option.

So dearest John Katumba, pray tell, what exactly are you looking for? No, first put that “I am fighting for freedom” rhetoric aside, what exactly are you high on because I want some of that. I am pretty sure it is illegal, but abeg, give me some.

You see, there is a threshold between wild dreams and madness and I am still trying to establish on which side of this tent you fall. But whichever side you fall, I must say I like, scratch that, I admire you. You inspire madness in me, the good kind of madness. The kind that is the definition of running your race regardless of whether those around you join in or not, I like you John. I will not be voting for you anywhere in the near or distant future, in this life or even the next but I sure like you and wish you well as you go one way. Of course this is only if you are not some invisible but powerful hand’s puppet. Amandla!


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