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The barber knows no romance without finance

But try defaulting on payment and see how quickly love turns to contempt.

Sometime last month, a famous city barber called Mart Barber got his Gwen Guthrie on. Guthrie sang a song called, “Ain’t nothing going on but the rent”. Therein she says, nothing in life is free. That’s why I’m asking you what you can do for me. I’ve got responsibilities. So I’m looking for a man who’s got money in his hands. Cause nothing from nothing leaves nothing. You got to have something if you wanna be with me. No romance without finance.

He might have said it in less fancy words but that’s what Mart told Bebe Cool. And if this was a singing duel, Bebe Cool would have responded with his version of India Arie’s song, “I am not my hair” called “kasepiki.”

Again if you live in utopia or are preoccupied with less important things like elections, this is what happened. It has been alleged by the salon person that the singer didn’t fully pay for his and his people’s haircuts and then there’s the sticky issue of photos being used without permission, etc. Of course the other side cried wolf saying Mart was just playing hairdresser scorned. So that’s the story, well, just part of the revised version.

You know how they say that the barman and hairdresser know people’s deepest darkest secrets, well yeah they do. Especially if you are the talkative type with chronic mouth disease that won’t let you shut up long enough to think carefully before you tell a total stranger about how the skeletons in your closet love to come out at night and dance in the nude at City Square.

Dear friend, that woman or man at the saloon is not your friend. Yes they will ask about your family, how they are, if you want a soda, an extra pillow, they will massage your shoulders when they hurt, will even run to the store and get you a snack and remain polite even when you keep criticizing their handiwork. But try defaulting on payment and see how quickly love turns to contempt. It’s all about your money. In this business like all others, there is no romance without finance.

Nze, I tried cutting my hair at a certain important people salon and the haircut was awesome but it was too expensive. I was clearly out of my league. I went without proper meals for like three weeks because of it.

Every time I’d get hungry, I’d look in the mirror and comb my nicely groomed hair as if to say, woman does not live by bread alone.

Long story short, I went back to plaiting cheap goat hair so I could have some rolex money left. Of course there are cheaper haircuts, but there’s this strange allure about living beyond your means that makes life exciting for our pea brains.

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