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Monday Troll: The truth behind Kibalama drama

Kyadondo East MP Robert Kyagulanyi (2nd right)at the launch of the National Unity Platform membership card at the party headquarters in Kamwokya, Kampala on August 3. PHOTO | MICHAEL KAKUMIRIZI

Many millennials today only talk about Sheebah, Spice Diana and Winnie Nwagi but the truth is that a bigger star was around years ago.

Juliana she is. Juliana blessed us with a song titled “Kibaluma”, in whose video a vixen called Kibalama could be seen making so much fool of himself until the UPDF captured him…

And how did the UPDF enter Juliana’s song that transcended into musician Bobi Wine’s umbrella? Isn’t Gen Muhoozi supposed to be hunting down Kony?
Anyway, it is easier to capture a vixen from an old song than go after any more of Kony’s underwear and guitar. So the UPDF got this vixen for featuring in a song that says “it hurts them.”

Gen Muhoozi probably thought that after capturing Kony’s guitar, the next should be Kony’s vixen – only that Kibaluma is Juliana’s and not Kony’s.
What next? The drama continues…


Exotic frogs refuse to vacate city wetland

Authorities in the banana republic have been caught between a flooding and a wetland. But that is not the problem. The problem is the free God’s Concert, also known as croaking, from the amphibians in the wetland.

MPs on the Physical Planning Committee were last week treated to a chorus of the croaking as they queried why a proposed flyover around Centenary Park in not taking off.
Centenary Park is a wetland. Many years ago, a one Otafiire bemoaned why some chaps had taken to living in there. He asked if these fellows were frogs, toads or crocodiles to want to live in a wetland.

MPs, Unra and KCCA officials are confused now. But this is a lost battle. You cannot win against nature. Naturally, frogs, newts, toads and some reptiles must live in wetlands.
So what? The flyover should just fly but leave our frogs to croak in their sanctuary.

And Bobi finally gets one over Chamilli

For two decades, Bobi Wine and Jose Chameleone lived a love-hate relationship on the social milieu but the reptile always dominated the drink, whether in a glass or the bushes.

Fans raved about their music, their women, and whatnot, but always gave the reptile higher notes.
However, last week was different. Very different. There were no fans to rave, just some high fellows with loyalty to the drink and weed.

Maybe Chameleone now understands why Barcelona could not allow Messi to go and work with Ronaldo at Juventus.
Yes, unless you are Manchester United, in politics, like in football, you cannot score after the final whistle has been blown. All these years of defeating Bobi Wine in this and that have ended without any VAR intervention for Chameleone – despite frantic efforts to abandon his name.

Disclaimer: This is a parody column

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