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Makerere fire, Betty Nambooze, Balaam shirts: What a week

Is Kampala Woman MP seat a done deal?

According to biblical equation, a prophet-plus-sowing-equals-profit. Put simply, when you sow your wealth to a pastor or a prophet, you do so expecting to multiply your favour.
This should have been straightforward but a certain Dick Twino-something failed to read the lines going by his recent media comments.

After his wife sold and sowed the proceeds of the family car, Dick got stuffy, stiff and whatnot. Now the marriage is on the rocks. But who cannot read what it means for a staunch Remnant to enter politics?
In biblical equation, Mbonye, who reportedly received the sowing, has already revealed the prophecy on who will win the Kampala Woman MP race.

Now, if Namaganda did not receive such a prophecy from her prophet but is contesting after sowing the family car, then it is like French philosopher Voltaire said – God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

What Makerere fire means for an investor

On page 1986 of the Uganda Investment Equation manual, a fire gutting property means an investor is lurking around. The weekend fire that gutted the Ivory Tower has left many alumni wary that an investor might be lurking in the smoke.

With Wandegeya overpopulated, the only other place other than Makerere, to stretch to, is Mulago. The alumni say Makerere seems the easier target because it has been churning out rioters and jobseekers. The plan is to turn the Hill into a 3D theme mall, complete with bazaar space and living quarters for the traders and wheeler-dealers.
Now the alumni are challenging MUK scientists to stop chasing empty dreams in Kira EV project and other inventions that they say only end in the media.

They want fire-fighting technology such as a hydrant that operates itself the moment it detects a fire.
“We have enough cars, so what is Kira EV? These guys go around inventing toilet paper instead of things that really matter,” an alumnus said.

Betty Nambooze flees supermarket over Balaam shirts

Betty Nambooze’s walking stick was last night found in the flower shed of a top retail store downtown where she had abandoned it in full flight.
Apparently, days after calling Balaam a ‘useful idiot’, Nambooze limped into a store and was accosted by the sight of several striped orange polo shirts on hangers.

At first, she demanded that the shirts be removed but the store manager insisted they were just shirts and nothing more. Then, as she argued with the manager, a shopper started taking photos of the shirts and exclaimed: “Wow! There’s Balaam everywhere here!”
Nambooze gave flight, saying she would not share a room with Balaam again.

Disclaimer: This is a parody column

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