Schools are still closed, but while they are, it is no harm for us to go back to the days and remember the times. We remember the different teachers, their styles, the personalities, the drama, the fun, the good and the bad. Here we go with the types of secondary school teachers.
The text book writer
In every school, there is always that one teacher who has written a text book and has now made it mandatory for everyone to acquire it. For this teacher, this textbook is the library. Every test and exam question will always originate from this book.
To ensure that everyone buys the textbook, they ensure the teaching plan adheres to this book, page by page.
Then you have that teacher who exchanged his sleep with the devil. You do not want such a teacher to be on duty. When they are on duty, you are certain dodging morning or night prep is not an option.
They will turn every bed upside down looking for the artful dodgers. Perhaps in their earlier days they used to miss preps, now they know all the tricks and the right corners to check. When they are on duty, there is 100 per cent compliance to preps.
You then have that one female teacher who knows you more than you know yourself. Every moment they get to see your parents, they will give a full report about you.
They will even give improvement suggestions to your parents, even suggest extra lessons and coaching. Your parent is always passionate about finding this teacher, that she has no option but to tip her.
The reality is once the parent is gone, this teacher will immediately forget about you until the next visitation day comes around.
The smart English teacher
English teachers are addicted to smartness. They will iron the shirts and neatly press them in those signature lines. The Literature teachers enjoy reading the books with all the accents. They will read Animal Farm, sing about the beasts of England, beasts of Ireland until you begin to visualise those pigs on the farm. When it comes to their essays, they make it a point that no one should ever score beyond a certain mark. But it also goes without saying that the smarter they get, the broker they are.
The sports addict
You then have that other teacher that is fond of sports. They will always oversee the school team. At times, they will join the students on the pitch. They forget that some students are always looking for moments of revenge. Often, these teachers will end up nursing injuries from disgruntled students.
The students’ favourite
This one is the students’ buddy, he or she is ‘chiller’. He will find students making noise, simply ask them to behave and move on with his life. He would rather you sleep off in prep than make noise. He does not over interest himself in students’ affairs. In fact, if he gets you committing a crime, he will find a way to handle everything at his level. This teacher has a degree in mercy and forgiveness. Students are always yearning to have them on their study tours or as the patrons for their social functions.
The Science teachers
That Biology teacher that cannot stop teaching about bones, aware that UNEB gave up on examining bones. Then the Chemistry teacher who makes lighting a bunsen burner seem like some quantum mechanics. What about the Physics teacher who cannot stop telling you about the first, second and third reading of the Vernier caliper? At times you are tempted to pick up the phone and remind them that you are now a WhatsApp group admin.
This is the picky teacher. They focus on every little detail in school. They will punish you for the smallest of reasons. They have traits of Ugandan traffic officers. If he finds your brake lights functional, he will ask for the driving permit. As you check for the permit, he will question why your seat belt is not strapped. So, you have those teachers who just never forget, nor forgive. They will keep every grudge. They will punish you in third term of Senior Three for sins committed in Senior Two.
The Biluma Abayaye
What about that one teacher who just seems better off than the rest? He drives a better car and sleeps offsite. He is always upgrading his wardrobe. These are the kind of teachers who have figured out extra sources of income. This teacher is always among the few that will contribute towards students’ causes. Some even go ahead to bail out the broke students. These teachers are the definition of ‘ebiluma abayaye’.
Every school has that one teacher who does not have to speak a word before people get down to doing the right thing. He has built a brand consistently over the years as the no nonsense teacher. He will sort you out on the spot without escalating issues to the headteacher. He seems to hold some extra powers compared to other teachers. Not even the stubbornest of students wants to mess with him. But despite his rough side, students just cannot help but like him. He is the Rex Regis of Namugongo.