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The monday troll: Butabika distances itself from Bizonto drama

The fellows at Butabika have a message for Bizonto comedians and the country: “We absolutely have nothing to do with them.”

Apparently, ‘zonto’ is a slang for wired or having mental problems and after security arrested the comedians, a couple of fellows at Butabika found it necessary to distance themselves from them.

“You see me here, do I look mad to you?” one of the fellows who called himself ‘Master Wee’ told journalists outside the perimeter wire fencing. “Those Bizonto guys are not straight up here,” he added, pointing at his head.

“Do you work with the media or the newspaper?” a second one asked. “Anyway, just tell Bizonto that we have nothing to do with them. We are good people that’s why the government feeds us.” The comedians were arrested for allegedly promoting sectarianism after saying Baganda are not belching acrid gas.

 

Bobi Wine still not ready for fiscal policy
NTV’s On the Spot talk-show last week whetted viewers’ appetite by advertising that Bobi Wine would be a guest on the show. But he was a no-show. Sources at the Serena-based station say the presidential hopeful and his entourage actually pulled into the hotel premises an hour before the show. Trouble started when the make-up artist was prepping Bobi for the show and she complimented his looks.

“You look physically fit, you must be ready for the grueling campaigns,” she said. Initially, Bobi Wine smiled at this and said it was necessary to be fit to face the challenges to come. But as the word ‘physical’ registered on his mind, the smile gave way to a frown and then excused himself. “Eddie Mutwe later came in and asked why we had mentioned fiscal policy, that it still gives Bobi nightmares,” one of the staffers said.

VP Ssekandi excites voters
VP Ssekandi on Friday excited voters in Bukoto in Kampala Central when he stopped for a few words. He said he had endured two hours in traffic during which he saw development all along the highway to Masaka and promised to continue his vision for the people of Bukoto County. “My enemies say I spend all my time asleep but if I can travel from Kampala to Masaka without even blinking, what more proof do you need?” he told the perplexed crowd.

“I’m your servant and I assure you that I’m still strong and will continue to deliver my mandate to you, my people.”
At this point, an aide reached out to Ssekandi and whispered something in his ears. He smiled benignly and said: “I said I was coming to Bukoto to see my voters. No problem. It is still Bukoto.”

Disclaimer: This is a parody column

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