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We are all in an entanglement

 

Entanglement: Forget situationships, entanglement is the new way to define a relationship stint you yourself cannot explain well. And while we are at it, stop and figure some entanglements you may be a part of.

 

Last week, Jada Pinkett Smith described her relationship with August Alsina as an entanglement. The online dictionary succinctly defines an entanglement as, “a complicated or compromising relationship or situation.” But when you think about it, we are all in some entanglement of sorts. We may not know it, we may not even recognise it, but everywhere you look, it is entanglement after entanglement.

Take Uganda for example, the President has been entangled with Ugandans for the last 30 years. It all started as a fundamental change looking to outdo those who overstay in power. Then it was about the third term, then the age limit, and now here we are, entangled with an option of a scientific election.
Back in our homes, husbands are entangled with the maids, wives are entangled with shamba boys, yet we all show up with a smile to celebrate the silver jubilees. As we are coming to deal with this, a side dish raises her hand to remind all about her entanglement with the sponsor, aka dzaddy.

On the road, we are all entangled with potholes. Then as we are dealing with potholes, Subaru drivers and Altezzas put us in deeper entanglements. Taxi drivers will be bullying us with their guards, while boda bodas keep showing up randomly from all directions. Traffic officers keep watching from some corner waiting to accuse us of all sorts of traffic irregularities. If you have a driving permit, they will take a look at your third party, then your brake lights. But the message is clear, you must entangle your hand into your wallet and speak the language of the gods.
Landlords and ladies are entangled with their tenants. Imagine a scenario where some tenants had rental arrears pre-Covid-19. Then the President warned the house owners not to dare evict their tenants. As we speak, some tenants have gone more than six months without clearing their rent. The landlords are entangled with presidential directives.

Entanglement is how you explain everything you do not understand, the things that just do not make sense. Why on earth, for example, would a Subaru driver residing in Najjera be rushing home? To save what? It is not like they have children at home or some urgent duties to carry out. They cannot help but pursue danger and glory in all ways. Subaru drivers have this empty hole in their soul, this deep desire to prove to everyone that they are the best, and the only way to do that is to drive at breakneck speed.

Have you also noticed that we are entangled with Covid-19? It is so serious that the President no longer runs his usual evening updates programme. He used to have us, but now the mafias could be having him. Until now, we cannot explain the difference between a mall and an arcade. That apparently God’s Plan and Sheilah Gashumba go to a mall while the rest of the world goes to an arcade.
Do you notice that the whole nation is entangled with the couple? We may hate or love them, we may despise them, we may diss them, but we surely cannot ignore them.
Gone are the days when the only way to access the Internet was through the Internet café. Gone are the days when the timer in the café was more important than anything else in the world. In those days Internet café admins had the dream job. Then we got entangled into the era where it was cool to have an email address. Then we
moved on very fast to WhatsApp group admins. Post-Covid-19, it soon hit us that there is no big deal about being a group admin. We could be entangled with some of our group admins but we want to let them know, they do not matter.

The greatest of entanglements is with the remnant Generation. Prophet Elvis Mbonye, whose second name literally means ‘I have seen’, saw the virus before it came. Above all, he has seen its end. But because we do not believe in his greatness, he has chosen to keep all these details from us. We are suffering because of our doubt.

So great is the Prophet that he is yet to decide Uganda’s next President. Do not be surprised if either Full Figure or Bad Black is anointed as Uganda’s next president. The prophet can decide to put the whole country in an entanglement. For example, in the United States, the prophet decided it was Donald Trump. In Burundi, he chose a new president. We only must be careful lest the prophet wipes out the whole country. It does not cost us a thing to humble ourselves and seek out his guidance. Who knows? One of these days the prophet could take each of us on a tour of heaven, we could check out some streets in heaven, chill with Jesus and return on earth with some memorable selfies. If you cannot comprehend all these scenarios, you are clearly entangled.

Going forward, entanglement is the new excuse. If you show up late for work, just tell your manager that you got entangled in a traffic jam. If you fail to pay your debts, simply tell the loan master that your finances got entangled. If you fail to keep your promises, once again, the excuse is clear, you got entangled with other things.
Life is about entanglements. The secret is in acknowledging one’s entanglements and working one’s way through them. Entangle carefully!

Twitter: ortegatalks

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