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Africa Laughs was lit… then came slay queen

To say that I am in love with Sauti Sol’s newest song Suzanna, off their upcoming album Midnight Train is an understatement. Our relationship has grown to the point where the song is now haunting me. It just won’t stop replaying in my mind. Speak of acute earworms, I might have to visit a therapist to beat this addiction. If you have not listened to the song yet, please don’t. You do not deserve it.

So anyway, Valentine’s Day came and went, need I mention with no love at all, well at least not in flower form, not for this child. But I did get to go watch Salvado’s Africa Laughs and I have been scratching my head for bad things to say about the show but wah…nothing. Except, of course the slay queen; her six-inch heels, five-inch Zambian wig, three-inch manicured claws and half-inch skirt who peed right where us, people of noble standing, had parked our important cars. It stunk so bad that there was no hanging around the parking mbu catching up with friends, after the show. It was for getting into your car or the car of the person who grudgingly gave you a lift and leaving immediately. I swear that chick must have peed concentrated fermented poison. You know the kind of stench that can very easily cause the hairs in your nostrils to twitch and proceed to grow in tendril length just so they can act as a cushion to block out the polluted air? Yes, that one.

Apart from that chick, the rest was nice. Okay, also apart from the fact that I had watched all of Kenny Blaq’s (one of the featured comedians) jokes on YouTube about two years ago. It was still nice though watching him sing and joke at the same time. And was it just me or was the South African comedian trying to be as if Trevoh Noah with that airline joke? It felt a bit unoriginal but hey, it was still nice. Even the convener cried… mbu the rich also cry. Eh, did I mention I did not know how to open the bottle of whisky on my table or that when I finally did, I was the only one drinking from it and the rest of my mates who were drinking soda and sparkling water were giving me the side eye as if saying, “twagirwa drunkards”.

And now for the main story of this bulletin. What in the world was Chris Evans thinking to pull a stunt like that? (If you don’t know who Chris Evans is, relax you are not alone, most of us don’t). Anyway, Evans while performing with Rema Namakula on that Valentine’s night decided to introduce ‘blasphemous’ lines into one of the songs prompting the  queen bee (Rema) with an army of one (Sebunya) to whip out her famous diva anger.

I do not know if Evans was out of order or if queen bee overreacted but I honestly cannot help but wonder what St. Valentine would do if he saw this blatant abuse of the rights and freedoms that he died for. Rest in Peace St. Valentine, well at least until next year.

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