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‘Gurunade’, Dezemba and other risky stuff

That name sounds horrible, to be honest. I cannot take another day of seeing that name or the infant who owns it sneaking into my social media timelines. Not sure what bothers me more; the personality or his mischief. If you are wondering who this is, ‘Gurunade’ (correct pronunciation by his fanbase) or Grenade (what educated folks call him) is an upcoming artiste who has exploded with more scandals than hit songs this year. That would not be a problem per se. See, I like to sip on scandals like I do my tea. I want it on my time, my space, with perhaps some ka music playing in the background. My terms, basically.

Grenade or what you people call him has been somewhat invasive and has been forced down our throats in the most perverted way. Everywhere you turn is a rumour that he run away with someone’s woman, knows the whole artiste fraternity – in the biblical sense. If my column smells like an STD already, you can take a breather and return next week. Grenade has turned himself into a casanova of sorts. He is a 21-year-old boy who is rinsing the older community of socialite women dry. How he has achieved this notoriety, I am just as confused as anyone. Skinny, with tinted hair.

‘Gurunade’, it’s time for a water break. We are sorry! First, it was Sheila Gashumba, Amanda Something, Mbuga’s main squeeze and recently Kenzo and his boys. The last part could have been made up but hey, this boy needs to be taken aside for a talk. Chill kiddo, the streets are wild. A music career in its infancy should not end because of some hungry socialites.

As Grenade reportedly breezes through all the female socialites in town, it might be a good time to encourage any guy clocking December single… many hugs, bro. And I mean those who tried all their tricks to break out of the shackles of singledom. Unfair when you hear someone called ‘Gurunade’ gets all the ladies’ attention and yet you cannot get a mere text back. Who is to blame? Government ‘weyayu’. 2019 is a dead year, yet again for you. 2020 is a brand new year. It’s for going out guns blazing.

Time to be intentional and tie down these ladies to lifetime contracts of romance. Bakiga and Banyankole men have left the chat. It is okay guys, I was talking to the other responsible chaps (including myself) that have one last relationship in them. Ladies, stop making things hard like asking us where we got your numbers from. That information will not develop you or us. Let’s co-operate. The world will not populate itself, unfortunately.

In the meantime, ‘Dezemba’ is here. Whatever did not go right this year can be erased this season with a drink and laughter with friends. It is a season to loosen up, pack on the weight and simply have fun. Remember to pay your debts, people.

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