To Top

We got no invite, now we get bu boring safari pix?

We were not even invited for the introduction ceremony and yet we made the most noise about how we were Team Rema regardless of the fact that we were not getting a cheering allowance. We even posted #lovewins, #Kenzoweyayustaythere #welovethedoctorevenifheisobahow.

We religiously supported that couple, followed their pre-life meeting, pre-kwemolaring season, pre-introduction shower like we were paid to. We even changed our WhatsApp statuses and dps to portraits of the couple, we listened to Rema’s music with renewed enthusiasm and even started learning the lyrics on YouTube.  We gave our lives for this couple, defended it against haters and in turn hated on Kenzo in every way possible. And yet this is how we were rewarded… with no invite.

At some point, we thought this ungrateful daughter of ours would at least come to our house in Kiwatule and hand deliver an invite out of respect for our very high stature and importance, but nothing. All she did was send a late night text message which I am sure was free because at that time phone companies give 50 free messages. She did not even type or compose the message herself or even use her number. It came from some random code announcing that there would be a watch party at some dingy place in Nankulabye where the introduction was going to be aired and that everyone should come with their own nsenene.

Anyway since we are very nice people, we choose to ignore this highly treasonable act. We forgive the couple and wish them well. After all, we are many, surely they couldn’t have invited all of us.  So no hard feelings, in fact we have invited Rema for our concert on January 17, 2020, where our song titled 32 will be launched again, this time in 5D.

Since we have since moved on from not being invited to the introduction ceremony of the year, we have now settled to ogling the couple’s pre-wedding honeymoon photos at Murchison Falls. Although, is it just us or are the pictures boring? All we see is them standing in the middle of the road dressed in normal herdsmen’s clothes embracing in an overly platonic manner.  If you want to show us what you are up to then show us some romance, some glitz and glam, some sauciness. If not, then keep your bu pictures. And don’t bore us with the, “we are keeping it decent and nice” line. If you want to keep your business private then just post finger tips, big toes, ear lobes and maybe parts of the premolars. Okay, you can throw in one of the dimples as a token of appreciation to us your dearly beloved idle stalkers.  Otherwise stop wasting our free MBs with those bu pictures that you have uploaded.

In case you are wondering who ‘’we’’ is, please be informed that we are a society of illuminated online stalkers who have since suffered from the recent ‘hole-ful’ lifeguard condoms and are desperately looking for distractions from this horrible occurrence. After conclusive research, we discovered that stalking Rema and her newly acquired husband are just what we need.

Leave a comment

More in Columnists