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Types of people you will meet at Nyege Nyege

A photo from the previous Nyege Nyege Festival. PHOTO CREDIT: MALAIKA MEDIA

Festival is us: It is the most anticipated festival, with a name that means three different things. And next weekend, it will be on at the Nile Discovery, but as a regular reveller, have you ever known which type of you shows up at Nyege Nyege?

Nyege Nyege is here. That urge to dance is about to come to life. It’s the festival we all saved for and as with all festivals, it’s all about people. People after people, the tall, the short, the big, the small. Here are the different types of festival-goers you’ll meet at Nyege Nyege.

The newbies

You’re going to find many of these. For many, it’s probably their first time in Jinja. And what better way to announce their entry than with Nyege Nyege? They’ve heard all the tales, now it’s their turn to partake in the wonder world that’s the Nyege Nyege festival. You will find them holding tight to their bags. Until someone reminds them of the zero absence of ‘kifeesi’ in the area. Like all newbies, they are ready to follow anyone’s lead. At times they seem lost, they don’t know what to wear, how to dance. But thank the gods, it’s Nyege Nyege, at least they get to be accepted in their newbie version.

 The over-protective girlfriend/boyfriend

Despite their lovers looking for all excuses to leave them out of Nyege Nyege, they still found a way to tag along. And tagging along means they’ve taken all the breathing space from their lover. These are the kind that won’t let go of the boyfriend’s hand. They will make it a point to wear matching attires or get similar face-paintings.

 The veteran

These are the ‘been there, done it’. They can’t stop praising the edition of Nyege Nyege where it rained cats and dogs. They won’t stop telling everyone how it’s not Nyege Nyege without the rain. They know all the routes. They don’t have much to prove anymore except whine about the newbies who are killing the spirit of Nyege Nyege. As with all veterans, they also come with a sense of entitlement, trying to remind everybody about the Nyege Nyege culture.

 The Ugandan celebrity

Although celebrities in other countries try to stay away from the public, the Ugandan celebrity at Nyege Nyege will try to seek all the attention and glory. They will keep walking around until someone whispers their name. They will show up in the company of their crew trying to announce their presence at Nyege Nyege. Only that at this festival, no one cares about your celebrity status. To fill this void, they will always retreat to their Facebook and Twitter and make some attention seeking posts.

The wannabe Rastafarian

It’s not easy to maintain dreadlocks. It takes time and money. But that doesn’t stop Wannabe rastafarians from trying too hard to make it. You know the famous parable about Zungus and Rastas? Now, these wannabe rastas will spend the whole festival trying to bank into this parable. But deep down one can tell, all they need is a good meal and a cash out from a good Samaritan. You can tell the wannabe rasta from their malnourished patois. Imagine Timothy Kalyegira as a rasta and you have a true picture of this wannabe Rastafarian.

The friend you haven’t seen in years

Nyege Nyege is the equivalent of a high school reunion. It’s the place you find all the former school mates, the marrieds and the singles, the broke and the rich, the sober and the blazed. You will be bumping into many of these. Prepare to meet them all, from the ex who broke your heart to the girl you met once in a night club. It’s the reunion of reunions. Except for one reason, you only get one chance to bump into a person. It’s almost hard to re-bump into them at this festival.

The foodie

You will only bump into the foodie at the food stalls. If that fails, you will find them holding onto their rolex and savoring it. Foodies always move in a group of three. They won’t allow to be body-shamed, at least that’s why they’ve paid for a three-day package of the face-paint. They came here to taste the food, they don’t care about the music, or the people, it’s all about their belly.

The fanny pack, the back pack

If it involves a pack, they will have it. There’s that tribe of chaps that can’t let go of their pack. They will dance with their fanny pack, kiss with their pack, go to bed with it and even to the shower. Their life at the festival depends on the safety of their pack. If you want peace, then do not mess with their fanny pack. Don’t forget the journalists when it comes to the back pack.

The dude who blacked out on the first day

Then you have that dude who’ll always black out on the first day of the festival. The rest of the days will be lived through the memories of friends. They won’t have a memory of their own. Every time they try to recover, someone tempts them with a drink or two. As such, they’ve been relegated to the camping zone. They sit still and watch the wonders of the festival.

The try-hards

These ones are at every festival. The moment you see a much rarer form of madness, look closely once again, it could be a try-hard. They are here to prove that Nyege Nyege flows in their blood. They are not at Nyege Nyege, Nyege Nyege is in them. They will be the ones nudging the others out of soberness. “Yoo, whatsup dude, it’s Nyege Nyege” they will shout once they spot a calm friend.

The hippy, just in the flow

Finally, there’s that hippy that meets the true definition of Nyege Nyege in and out. He’s not trying hard. He’s not even seeking any attention. But there’s that vibe that surrounds him that draws in other people to him. He doesn’t talk much. He’s simply himself. When he’s tired, he will call it a day and show up in full the next day. If you meet this gem, befriend them. It could be your nagging columnist.

Twitter: @OrtegaTalks

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