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Thou shall know them by their schools

Nurture: Two things will define someone’s character; nature and nurture. Many of us are reflected by the schools we attended. For example, it is easy to spot a Sunsas chick from a Gungas chick…one is allover the place and the other is calm and collected.

It is often said you can tell lots about a person and their outlook towards life, by just one thing — the schools they attended. The only problem with schools is the attachments, and attachments are bound to cause heartbreaks. As such, we apologise in advance for those whose emotions are about to be attacked, to our bosses, our landlords, our girlfriends, name them all.

Budonians aka Identity Crisis
If you meet a Budonian, and within the first minute of a conversation, they have not made mention of Budo, then something is totally wrong. Whereas people find identity in different things in life such as family, career, or businesses, Budonians draw theirs from their school. Without Budo, there is no meaning in these people’s lives. It is their biggest achievement in life, attending Budo.
You could be arguing about fiscal policy, and the Budonian will start off by talking about Budo. If only perspectives matched reality, then Budonians could live on the moon. If you think policemen in life have the worst living quarters, you ought to visit the Budonian houses. And that is Budonians in life, they promise heaven and deliver earth. If you want more evidence, go watch the Jubileewo song.

Smackists aka proud weevils
The weevils have been raised to believe that they can get anything in life without fighting very hard. It is this in-born pride, that sometimes results in a bulge of entitlement. Even on a dancefloor, Smackists will be found standing and nodding their heads to the beats. They will never reveal their true feelings, they disguise their shyness, insecurities by playing the ‘swag card.’
If you see a guy at a wedding ceremony not rushing to the food queue, that is a Smackist. Always shy, timid, while faking the confidence. They love attention yet want it to seem like they despise it. If you want fun in life, then plug them out of your circles, they are the true description of boring.

Gungas aka women on top
Once in a lifetime, every female species deserves to spend a day on the Gungas grounds. And every man, deserves to have a Gungas friend in their life. If you want a living description of the word ‘lady’, you will find it taking strides in the personalities of the Gungas alumni. There is a high suspicion that the Victoria era did not stop in England, it continued somewhere in the Gungas products. They love to tie their skirts in the high waists and they often cannot help but display their italicised handwritings.
These ladies will not talk about their school, but if you smell high achievement, be certain you are closer to Gungas. And they can fight hard when provoked. If thou finds a lady with the character of Cleopatra, Princess Diana or Queen Victoria, do not panic, you are in the presence of a Gungas alumni, per scientiam ad virtutem.

Lubiri, Mengo, Macos, Kibuli aka Lost in the wild
You almost know what every other school stands for. You know what Cheatende stands for. You know what Ntare stands for. But what do these four schools stand for? You cannot tell. And a man who stands for nothing, will always fall for anything. If you find someone with multiple personalities, no clearly cut out values, swinging in life like a pendulum bob, it could be a product of one of these schools. Kibuli, for example, used to stand for soccer. Without soccer, you cannot tell what they live for. As such, these alumni will always do the bare minimum in life and move on. They are not trying to fight for the high positions in life. They find fulfilment in meeting their basic needs, being happy and letting other people to be.
It is such a serene way of living life, but it could also mean that they never shoot for more. The moment they hit their first goal, that is it. They will settle. So in marriage, these girls will settle. In jobs, you will find loyal employees.

Mwiri, Butiki aka Hanging gardens of Babylon
One of the seven wonders of the world are the hanging gardens of Babylon. And just like these gardens, not many people have been to Mwiri or Butiki. They claim to have a rivalry known only to them. Sometimes you cannot tell whether you are speaking to a Mwiri or Butiki product. They often manifest themselves in the same ways. They will always work hard to stand out. They are always trying to go the extra mile to earn their position in life. They bring rigour, discipline, work ethic to everything they do.
However, they have no privilege to leverage in life. Calm, composed fellows in life, high achievers who cannot find a spoonful of recognition. Perhaps crossing the River Nile is not that big an achievement.

Ntare aka Till Death Do Us Apart
Ntare products do not play short-term games. They are in everything for the long-term. They always have no plan of leaving. Even at parties, they will be the last ones to depart. The words ‘retirement’, ‘departure’, ‘exit’ name it all do not exist in their vocabulary.
They are persistent in all they do. Whether in Uganda or Rwanda, for these products, it is till death do us apart. They will pick one thing and commit to it. No wonder, their motto is about bettering your best. But often times, they will worse their worst. As the Legend Oliver Mtukudzi sang, “Ntare, what shall we do?”

Kitende aka public secrets
Do we really need to say the obvious in life? Have you found chaps that are fond of shortcuts in life? Have you found people looking for hacks to everything? Have you found those not fond of rules? Why do we have to dwell on this? We all know that you know that we know what you know. Yes, whatever you are thinking about, that is it! Once in Kitende, always in Kitende.

Twitter: @OrtegaTalks

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