Connie Nankya
Have you ever complimented a lady in public? Do you see how it lights up her mood? It is even better if it comes from one lady to another. But how many women can compliment another without first thinking hard about it?
While most women tend to feel like they are in competition with anything dressed better than them, anyone smarter than them, some well-raised women have no problem accepting that and appreciating another where credit is deserved.
Once upon a time, I watched a lady in her 50s ignoring a warm greeting from a girl in her 20s. I paused and asked myself how someone could be that cold.
Imagine growing up, experiencing life, its challenges, achieving some goals and losing some along the way and then having to watch a young lady probably in the same place you were in ages ago.
In my view, one would relate with her better but above all, encourage her, hold her hand, guide her without trying so hard to break her. What do some women gain in bullying others?
In school, joining Senior One or Senior Five drew a lot of attention from the older students. All sorts of comparisons would be made to the “new” students and they were looked at like fresh blood. They would be studied and their ways of life taken note of as if they were a different kind of species.
While many of us thought it stopped in school, it lives on through every step of the way. You find some women being too discreet about where they go shopping, the hair dressers they use, and stuff like that.
But like they say, the higher you go, the more reality strikes. Stories have been told, expressions have been made and imaginations of how the world would be a better place if women stood together and supported each other. Regardless of all this, one can confidently say we have a long way to go.
Look at women at work places and you will realise how great politicians they can be. How conniving they can be to get whatever they want while silently but steadily stepping on every “obstacle” in their view.
Look at young girls in school taking to simple fights such as having the best birthday party. Look at all these scenarios and you will realise that life can be quite a puzzle.
I was raised in an environment full of love, care, kindness and the free spirit that wishes everyone well. I believe that appreciating the good in others is a good thing and we are all created differently but each has a strong quality that can never match any other. Competition is healthy but the kind that tears others down and causes pain on a daily makes no sense at all.
So to the women who believe in inflicting pain, burying the good in others because they believe there can never be another like them, those who like hating on every effort made by another whether it is in the dresscode, way of life, opportunities availed, name it, what is your story and have such women ever lost a tooth being nice to one another?
cnankyam@gmail.com