I really struggle to understand some women, those who find it easy to complicate their lives. Many of the problems and worries of today’s women are because some simply can’t put their foot forward and say enough is enough. It is disheartening to still see a chick stay in an abusive relationship because a guy promised he won’t do it again. When Singer Leila Kayondo called for her lover’s arrest after he battered her, every chick in an abusive relationship felt that someone had finally spoken for them. It was not the first time that the singer had been on the receiving end of a beating and hearing her come out was a bit comforting. For the victims of abuse, that is. Just for a moment, I sympathised with her. It’s hard not to sympathise. Also, her decision to backtrack on her earlier allegations and forgive the guy did not surprise me. A woman’s esteem sinks lower with each beating. Unfortunately, it is a few women who actually snap out of it and walk away.
Ladies, a man who beats you does not love you, no matter how many times you try to convince yourself. And for as long as there is a first time, there will always be a second time. It will only be a matter of time. Once the beating starts, walk away before it becomes a cycle. Ladies, the first beating is a mark of territory and the second is ownership. Do not become someone’s punching bag. The problem is that ladies give themselves a lot of time to be enslaved. You let the guy feed you, house you and make him pay for everything. Eventually you become his house dog and he will be glad to treat you like one. It is sad that ladies blindly walk themselves into a trap of being abused on a daily basis. Real men do not beat women but the few who do it can only do it to the women who tolerate it.
Love is built on simple values such as respect and if a guy beats you, he does not respect you. It is that simple. Have the nerve to walk out when it is still early. If loving someone is going to cost your life and leave a dent on your esteem, that is not love. It is a warzone. Snap out of it already. Again, ladies should not get too comfortable in relationships and forget to work on themselves. Your boyfriend is not United Nations or your ATM but only your support system. That means you should work to improve yourself. Look for employment or strive to go to school. It is this kind of improvement that no guy can despise. If anything, he will be supportive. Be a woman worthy of respect, not one any man can bulldoze around.
It is a new year and no one should start it off with negative energy in their lives. If your relationship feels like the streets of Baghdad, it is time up.