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The acute angle: Jan. brokeness is real


Have you ever seen an expectant Indian woman? For the first time in my life, I actually saw one. Like honestly, you just never see a pregnant Indian woman in this city. I just burst out laughing as she calmly crossed the road with someone who seemed like her husband. I do not know why I found this particular situation funny, but I stupidly did. I guess laughter was the only thing I could afford that day because my car had just run out of fuel at the Lugogo by-pass. Stranded and clueless, I started laughing at anything that I found unusual. What was even funnier was the situation in my wallet. No one wants to run out of fuel with no money in their wallet. I knew I was screwed but well, I tried to be calm.
So, like every smart man, I opened the bonnet and pretended like I had the biggest mechanical issue. I made some calls supposedly to the mechanic. Hahaha. Truth be told, I was making emergency calls to whoever could come to my rescue. Eventually, I was saved. Phewwwwkss!
Special shout outs to the lot that finally got transport money to return from their villages. January is the devil. You just wonder why January comes after December when all bad spending habits were put on display. January is like one long and slow Monday. The more you pray for the end of the month to come faster, January will be like,”no sir”. Let’s take this one day at a time. Quite frustrating to be honest. This is the thing, January gives you a huge wake up call, that is if you actually wake up. Some people actually never wake up from that financial hit. Many bachelor friends are on the very infamous liquid diet; porridge, water and anything to carry you through the day. It is weird how peeps act like those Rich Gang dwanzies during the festive season but are brought very quickly down to earth during January.
Those in the side chick business find January a tricky month to soldier through. Everything from MBs to hang out expenses are put on hold. Actually, players are more faithful in January. This month humbles you and restricts your options. Bambi players have to return to their baby mamas because financial strife has followed them in the New Year.
This month will make you notice the expiry dates on everything in the house. The cornflakes you ignored when you still had dimes will come in handy, until you realise that the expiry date was a couple of months ago. Jesus, did not surely die for this. If you slowly start to realise that I have not been in circulation, especially on the social scene, you will be forgiven to think that I could be in my room just doing a lot of nothing. Probably talking to geckos mating on the ceiling with no data bundles to entertain myself. January, please end already.

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