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The acute angle: The vampire from Busaabala

Forget that thing of vampires hiding from the severity of sunlight rays.The vampire from Busaabala is not. He was baptised by sunlight. It’s the sunlight that wakes him up every morning as he comes out of one of his rent-free trenches. His entire body is endorsed with dust, the painful wrench of urine and he can’t imagine how he is going to live through the day.
A vampire’s life has an expiry date but the Vampire from Busaabala prays for his. He prays to die but hasn’t been granted his wish. Vampires thirst for the drop of blood, Kabaya the Vampire from Busaabala thirsts for Shs200 worth of sachet passion fruit juice. It’s not guaranteed.
Vampires are wealthy and drink the finest tribes of wine yet Kabaaya’s staple is Beckam gin. The original vampires drink to pass time, Kabaya drinks to drown his sorrows. The village shuns him and would be dammed to employ him anywhere. He is the village outcast.
Kabaya always wanted to emulate Jamaican dancehall Buju Banton but we all know he can’t afford studio time. His dreadlocks make him the first suspect for any crime that ensues in the village. If a saucepan or lantern went missing in the village, it can only be one person. Even the pool attendant at Rendezvous chased him away for being a nuisance and accused him of stealing some cues (pool sticks). Vampires strike fear into humans with their fangs but Kabaya, the Vampire from Busaabala would not even frighten a kitten. Vampires bite but you can imagine Kabaya is even bitten by butterflies. He is just a write-off. Mbu those things of Stefan Salvatore(vampire in Vampire Diaries) falling for the pretty Helena who is human are not there in Busaabala. Even the tea girls shun him. He can only dream of a date with a barmaid.
Vampires are not vegeterians but certainly not Kabaya, the vampire from Busaabala. He eats plants of the Marijuana family. He doesn’t do this because he is searching for roughages but to get in touch with ‘The Most High’. He needs a certain peace in his soul and he believes this can be found in the ‘Holy Plant’.  Dude is alone to face the world. Forget those mythical stories of a family of vampires coming from the East to re-unite with their own.Kabaya doesn’t have family. His only family are the torn clothes on his body. Even the village rats can’t waste their time paying him a visit. He has no address so they also get disgusted.
Vampires play hide and seek in the woods during their free time but Kabaya takes a visit to the woods to take damps and to seek asylum from the Local Defence Unit. Even the ‘werewolf’ LC 1 Chairman wants him but can’t find him.
At 1.30am on some random day, Kabaya finally decides that enough is enough and goes on a Mission Impossible. He decides to wipe the whole village of all their property. Televisions, radios, flat irons and the like go missing before he vanishes from the village never to be seen again. You can imagine what happened the following morning. Shock raptured through the whole village and for the first and only time, the Vampire from Busabala had finally struck and gained victory. Do we blame him? I say no.

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