Gonya live in hiding somewhere on the river banks of our society patiently waiting for any naïve, crippled, and young ‘buffaloes’ to walk into their territory and announce themselves for dinner. Like it is with most predators, gonya are patient in their hunt, swift in the attack and vicious in the kill. What we forget is that gonya could be closer to us. They could be eating from our plate at the dining table or dancing the whole night away with us at our favourite hangout spot and we would never know.
Gonya live in disguise waiting for that chance to pounce and forever make our lives miserable. They look innocent but have ill motives. They will smile with you at your workplace and celebrate your promotion but nothing kills them more than seeing you advance in life. They thirst for your success, curse your existence and will hatch a plot to see you fail. Your pain is their glory.
Gonya are self-centered. They will show up at a date with three other baby gonyas that you hadn’t budgeted for and they will suffocate the life out of your wallet without shame or apology. When they notice that you are a jama who is not up for any serious commitment and is still having the time of your life, they will hit you with a simple, but heart-wrecking “baby I missed my………”. That is a deadly tactical move gonya employ when they have run out alternatives to catch their prey. It seems desperate but it works perfectly. Madame, if you are naïve to think that he invited you to his home only to watch a movie or gave you that I-would-like-to-get-to-know-you-better speech, I am afraid to tell you that you are walking straight into gonya’s widely-open mouth. If you are young and beautiful, you will be the first item on the gonya menu. The young and old gonya will be licking themselves to have a piece of you, so stand warned. Alternatively, if you are a guy who is successful and has started making the money, gonya will lust over you, caress you before they sentence you to a life of misery.
Gonya will seduce anyone who is successful into their trap, eat you before they spit you out if you show signs of decline. And on a day when you decide to load your 100mbz of internet bundle for that Facebook experience or instagram pic upload, you will receive a quick “your internet bundle has expired” message even before you start any business. It is just that gonya has disguised itself as the ‘people’s network’ yet it is so quick to rob its subscribers of their hard-earned money. These unreliable telecom networks! Whether we like it or not, gonya is here to stay and could be that person who you think is your friend or that inefficient telecom network you subscribe to. If we are ever going to curiously ask “Gonya zirya ki?”Let us be sure that we are not on its menu. Nice weekend guys.