To Top


1.Why do you people watch so many action movies? Now you have even started “importing” presidential cars!!! Okay illegally. Hmm, I thought these things only happen in movies like Air Force One. Kati some Ugandan tried it too?

2.Okay, how did that guy manage to act that movie so well? I guess after watching The Expendables, he decided to put his Rambo antics to work, huh? Nga Ugandans are not easy.

3.And Mr Actor, what were you thinking to park such a car in Wandegeya? Of all places! Did you think that would make you another Meddie Ssentongo? Why didn’t you take it to those garages and change colour?

4.Eh Sevo, do you think that Toyota Landcruiser of ours is still safe? After what happened, shouldn’t you be worried that yours could be next? You know, these jobless Ugandans can kuyiiya. They may be plotting for it too!

5.Is Sevo’s car such a DMC that the film actor decided to go for a better product? Mr President, shouldn’t you think of buying something better, like a Bugatti?

6.And that’s why I like banauganda. Someone wanted a ride in Uhuru’s car, he got it. Wama, next time why don’t you try Obama’s Beast? You’re a local celeb now, but that will make you international.

7.It’s obvious now that Ugandans love good things, so should we expect state house plates and cups or even TVs on sale in Kikuubo soon? Who wouldn’t want a piece of that?

8.Kati instead of the police arresting that guy, why don’t they just employ him … to steal ministers’ cars for them? Aren’t the cops tired of using those old and dirty kabangalis? Kayihura, why don’t you think about it?

9.Don’t you think Kenyans should now start respecting Ugandans more? Wherever we pass, they should salute. Who thought a simple mechanic would steal a Kenyan presidential car? Eeh, salute!

10. Ugandans lead in everything. Number one in taking most alcohol, and now a new record has been broken, best car thieves in East Africa. Shouldn’t we toast to that? Of course I’m kidding.

Leave a comment

More in Columnists

  • GNL Zamba to open Hip Hop pop up shop

    Ever since Earnest Zamba popularly known as GNL Zamba returned from the US, he became a changed man both musically and...

    Isaac SsejjombweOctober 26, 2021
  • The Monday troll: ‘UCC will ask Ugandans to sleep early’

    Local broadcasters have expressed fear that the Uganda Communications Commission will soon decree that Ugandans sleep early to avoid watching gossip...

    Faith AmonginOctober 25, 2021
  • They shall be known by their football club

      Small small hints: There is a saying that you can tell a lot about a Ugandan judging by their football...

    Ian OrtegaOctober 15, 2021
  • Salaama Road: Mother of Potholes

    Typical: If Najeera is the home of chaos, Salaama road takes the award; ‘home of massage parlours.’ Everything in Salaama road...

    Ian OrtegaOctober 8, 2021
  • Kampala’s laws of money

    When it comes to money in Kampala, we bargain in Luganda. Typical: The worst mistake is to pledge at a Ugandan...

    Ian OrtegaOctober 1, 2021
  • The typical Ugandan week

    According to MC Africa, Pia Pounds owns Friday while Kenzo owns the weekend… Typical UG: On Tuesday, you could wake up...

    sqoopadminSeptember 24, 2021
  • You should not be single in Kampala

    It’s not hard when you appreciate yourself and ignore the expectations of others… Typical UG: When you’re rolling solo, it can...

    Ian OrtegaSeptember 17, 2021
  • What if we never return to a normal?

    Typical UG: Recognising that the virus will be with us for a long time. Questions still linger if this is the...

    Ian OrtegaSeptember 10, 2021
  • Uganda: There was a music industry

    In the past, politicians came to the musicians… Typical UG: If somebody landed in Uganda today, they would be mistaken to...

    Ian OrtegaSeptember 3, 2021