Connect
To Top

Toasting to a magical Olympic moment


1.Could we all put our hands together for… no not you Juliana Kanyomozi… sit down!!! Wama can we all put our hands together for Stephen Kiprotich?

2.What a magical Olympic moment banange! A Ugandan winning real bling not this fake stuff put on by Sizzaman!

3. Naye our pastors! Now pastors are telling their congregations mbu… “Like Kiprotich, nothing is impossible for the Lord!” Mega D please don’t believe that stuff! It’s impossible that your album launch will ever have 100 people… impossible!!

4. But don’t you feel sorry for the our Big Brother contestants … they came back to Uganda with no one bothering them … naye for Kiprotich’s arrival, the whole nation was excited!

5.Naye who knew Kiprotich? No one knew him… naye now everyone is singing his name … abafele!!!

6.I can’t wait for Mike Mukula to come out speaking Kiprotich’s local language at the homecoming event in Kiprotich’s village, thanking him like they are so close and related and handing him … $10,000! Naye people like stealing the limelight!

7.By the way Kiprotich please don’t accept cash pledges … ask Mesach Semakula! Mbu “tycoon” a one Godfrey has pledged a total of Shs190m during Mesach’s album launches … naye he is yet to deliver.

8.Naye what is with the title “tycoon” and prison, embezzlement etc…look at Ezra, Bad Black, Meddie Ssentongo … now its Godfrey simanya who!

9. Oba who would take the gold medal for being a “tycoon who poses around with other people’s money!” Sorry whom did you say? Godfrey who!!? Please people behave.

10. Congs Kiptorich!!

Leave a comment

More in Columnists

  • They shall be known by their football club

      Small small hints: There is a saying that you can tell a lot about a Ugandan judging by their football...

    Ian OrtegaOctober 15, 2021
  • Salaama Road: Mother of Potholes

    Typical: If Najeera is the home of chaos, Salaama road takes the award; ‘home of massage parlours.’ Everything in Salaama road...

    Ian OrtegaOctober 8, 2021
  • Kampala’s laws of money

    When it comes to money in Kampala, we bargain in Luganda. Typical: The worst mistake is to pledge at a Ugandan...

    Ian OrtegaOctober 1, 2021
  • The typical Ugandan week

    According to MC Africa, Pia Pounds owns Friday while Kenzo owns the weekend… Typical UG: On Tuesday, you could wake up...

    sqoopadminSeptember 24, 2021
  • You should not be single in Kampala

    It’s not hard when you appreciate yourself and ignore the expectations of others… Typical UG: When you’re rolling solo, it can...

    Ian OrtegaSeptember 17, 2021
  • What if we never return to a normal?

    Typical UG: Recognising that the virus will be with us for a long time. Questions still linger if this is the...

    Ian OrtegaSeptember 10, 2021
  • Uganda: There was a music industry

    In the past, politicians came to the musicians… Typical UG: If somebody landed in Uganda today, they would be mistaken to...

    Ian OrtegaSeptember 3, 2021
  • You know it’s a Ugandan marriage…

    Everything that goes wrong is usually a woman’s fault… Typical UG: Ugandan marriages are unique. They have similarities that cut across....

    Ian OrtegaAugust 27, 2021
  • Huh: The adult peer pressure

    What’s this pressure of trying to fake it? Stuck here: I always thought peer pressure was a myth, or at least...

    Ian OrtegaAugust 20, 2021