To Top

Why I wouldn’t treat Acellam with kid gloves



Every day we wish for so many things but having witnessed so many things lately, I have been forced to put serving the army for once atop my wish list. And the following would have been part of my journey to the line of duty! I would have;

• Engaged in thorough training: Obviously, it would have probably started from childhood with watching all those action packed movies. Yes, the likes of Commando, Hard Target, Blood Spot, Missing in Action, etc. And although they still remain movies, I would have dreamt of an opportunity to put it all into practice hence passionate army material.

• Multi tasked: True, I would have ensured that multi-tasking without necessarily drifting away from my profession was a key aspect. Meaning; taekwondo, kick boxing, boxing, wrestling would have been a huge part of my dish too, cool?

• Made the world my friend: This would have been another mammoth composure of my plate of attributes. In a nutshell, I would have listened to radio, read newspapers, been a bit modern with a ka phone that can at least grab Internet.

If not, I would have borrowed from my boss and tried to acquaint myself with the world because duh! My role then would be to tirelessly defend it. So all those arrests, killings of brutal peeps like Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, El Muamer Gadaffi would not go un noticed because I would need to learn how to punish the other alive lot in case a similar situation sufficed.

• Explored my talents: It is evident to me that humans are not born with just one talent. So I would exploit everything else. If I was a good orator, writer, musician, dancer, excellent at hide and seek games while emerging the winner, debater, great thinker, blah blah blah… I would have exploited them, because then, it would have made it easier for me to stand up for myself and the people that I protected without fear or favour.

• Been very disciplined: Of course basing on the facts that “charity begins at home”, this had to come with impeccable upbringing. Meaning, I would have respect for humanity; done unto others as I would have wished for it to be done to me. Nothing like kicking innocent people just like that, pulling people’s private parts recklessly, saving souls that do not deserve it, being corrupt name it!

• Stood up for what was right: At this point, I am even gnashing my teeth with emphasis! Because with this attribute, I would never have given a handshake to people like that recently captured former LRA commander Maj. Gen. Caesar Acellam Otto because he would probably have been six feet under given all the above skills.

Like seriously; my good training, ability to multi task would have kicked and boxed him left right and centre after my extra talents (playing hide and seek and capturing eventually) backed by my high discipline and respect for humankind would all have concluded to the fact and lines, “This man should get what he deserves and pay for all the sins he committed with a sound mind”.

And should the situation have been the opposite (like it was a couple of days ago) I would still be stuck in a corner strategising as I questioned my colleagues moves of handling him with kid gloves, giving him the soft landing welcome characterised by medical treatment and exercising uncalled for tolerance to his arrogant remarks.

His young wife would have been the centre of attraction in my view because poor her, like most of the other girls (victims) had to become wives at a tender age of 11 years (who does that?) to beasts like this man! Therefore his stories of how life was harsh in the bush after he voluntarily joined the LRA would be sheer poppy cork to me.

And after thorough thoughts, I would have jumped out of that corner and done the obvious needful, in respect to the many lives that have been lost, kids that have been forced into sex slavery, property that has been destroyed, families that have been slain and slaughtered all for selfish reasons at the hands of these cold blooded mammals that are gracing the front pages as if they suddenly wore the late princess Diana’s shoes!

Okay, reality strikes finally! I am not a soldier or anywhere in the army. So all I can do is wish and keep wishing and also pray that the Lord has the most befitting punishment, for such people. And that this country can learn from evident examples of how to treat such people.

After all the stories about the many victims of this brutal rebel group, the public deserves to see much more than this uncalled for, as if, VIP treatment while capturing such peeps. Ooops! It dawns on me again, I am not a soldier or in any army hence the wishing can go on and on and on.

Leave a comment

More in Columnists

  • They shall be known by their football club

      Small small hints: There is a saying that you can tell a lot about a Ugandan judging by their football...

    Ian OrtegaOctober 15, 2021
  • Salaama Road: Mother of Potholes

    Typical: If Najeera is the home of chaos, Salaama road takes the award; ‘home of massage parlours.’ Everything in Salaama road...

    Ian OrtegaOctober 8, 2021
  • Kampala’s laws of money

    When it comes to money in Kampala, we bargain in Luganda. Typical: The worst mistake is to pledge at a Ugandan...

    Ian OrtegaOctober 1, 2021
  • The typical Ugandan week

    According to MC Africa, Pia Pounds owns Friday while Kenzo owns the weekend… Typical UG: On Tuesday, you could wake up...

    sqoopadminSeptember 24, 2021
  • You should not be single in Kampala

    It’s not hard when you appreciate yourself and ignore the expectations of others… Typical UG: When you’re rolling solo, it can...

    Ian OrtegaSeptember 17, 2021
  • What if we never return to a normal?

    Typical UG: Recognising that the virus will be with us for a long time. Questions still linger if this is the...

    Ian OrtegaSeptember 10, 2021
  • Uganda: There was a music industry

    In the past, politicians came to the musicians… Typical UG: If somebody landed in Uganda today, they would be mistaken to...

    Ian OrtegaSeptember 3, 2021
  • You know it’s a Ugandan marriage…

    Everything that goes wrong is usually a woman’s fault… Typical UG: Ugandan marriages are unique. They have similarities that cut across....

    Ian OrtegaAugust 27, 2021
  • Huh: The adult peer pressure

    What’s this pressure of trying to fake it? Stuck here: I always thought peer pressure was a myth, or at least...

    Ian OrtegaAugust 20, 2021