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Yours sincerely, Gaddafi



1. Hello Hussein, people don’t like to refer you by that name yet it’s yours. My message to you is that you should step down. You are young and should be wild and free. Yes you can Obama.

2. Bin Laden bro, it’s hard to believe but here we are on the same boat. Hope you are enjoying the stay and not missing the gold and guns.

3. I really miss travelling to your country M7 but never mind, the mosque is there for all believers. Make Uganda a family property, personalise it like I did with Libya, but don’t end up like me!

4. You guys (African Presidents)refused to believe that I was king of Africa, now who has female bodyguards and who has ruled for over 40 years? No one. Just me!

5. Sorry ICC, you missed me badly because I hear you really wanted me in court for being a good leader and a great father to my people. Hahaha, you can’t have me!

6. Stop wasting time Besigye, I advised M7 never to give up presidency no matter what. So please just give up or wait till he joins us these ends.

7. Mutebile please oh please, how can they want you for that cartoon amount of money? I had thousands of kilogrammes of gold and no one touched me.

8. Mubajje, I funded the construction of that place of worship for the people and not for individual parties like you. Style up Mufti or are you???? Insha-Allah.

9. Kemigisha darling, sorry about the way I vanished coz I really did not want it to end that way. Hope all I did for you, the kingdom and the young king are still pretty cool. I miss you!

10. Kuddzu, Kuddzu…. If I still could, then I would coz I should. Now stop imitating me and learn to do your stuff your own way. Aaaarrgggghhh Nakoowa!!

Timothy Kiprotich

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