Lousy people: Here is how to choose roomies who won’t make your semester a nightmare
The parasite: You meet a roomie, with whom you share nearly everything, soap, sugar, detergent, spray, shoe polish and food. When kawu sets in, your friendship declines and boom, you are abandoned like Bad Black’s fair weather friends ditched her in her time of trouble. “After eating me dry, the always broke Anthony started avoiding the room, especially during meal times. I was surprised to find him devouring a fat rolex in a dark corner of the hostel,” lamented a one Nicky, a Makerere student.
The swine: With a ravenous appetite and an elastic stomach, Innocent must have been a cud chewing animal in his past life basing on his eating credentials. A roomie like Innocent isn’t a very wise idea, he will eat every little thing. Your loaf of bread will last two days at most. Your cluster of bananas will be eaten in one sitting and, you might have to double the food prepared to cater for the roomie with such amazing qualities or consider employing a cook.
The radio: This roomie talks nonstop Monday through Sunday, to himself, to your guests and when you need time to yourself like after expecting a lover who doesn’t show up. The radio never runs out of what to say. She knows the hostel gossip and has an idea on everything from what the lecturer had for breakfast to the next World Cup winner. The good thing is that you won’t need a radio.
The ‘Kazinda’: With this one, expect a missing deodorant, the mysterious disappearance of your favourite pair of jeans, little coins simply melt away and your notebooks vanish. A roommate with itchy fingers will stop at nothing to satisfy his kleptomaniac tendencies. Avoid a roommate who steals lest you might wake up to find your limbs missing.
The abnormal sleeper: He snores so loud, like the snort of a pig eating porridge. He suddenly wakes up screaming in the dead of the night, mumbles words in his sleep or does the Chameleone stunt of sleepwalking … Bad, bad news.
The perfectionist: You shall not sit on my bed, touch my stuff or disorganise the room. A perfectionist will want stuff in perfect shape, and will fill your head with ridiculous complaints.
The randy one: Horn is relative, if your roommate has high libido, you are assured of spending most of your time outside the room. You will spend, most of your time in the hostel quadrangle while your roomie fornicates himself silly.
With this guide, be sure not to fall victim of roomies with the above traits.