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the acute angle : If Shs96m was my monthly salary …

I would invest a lot of time in prayer. It takes a lot of faith to believe that Shs96m would show up shamelessly on your account every end of the month so I would definitely seek God’s counsel. I would pray to God devotedly for my protection and to grant my employer nothing but good health for as long as I stayed employed. I would probably hire out an entire floor at Nabukeera Plaza to start up a well stocked weaves shop. After combing out the streets doing market research for many years about Ugandan women’s needs, I have discovered that nothing brings more delight to women’s lives than hair that isn’t theirs. An assortment of wigs and weaves from exotic horses around the world would have all their hair needs sorted and quickly make me the darling to many ladies around Kampala. And the ladies who love to reconstruct themselves with alternative eyelashes and nails would have it all figured out at my shop. I would also start up a Corporate Behaviour Awareness Campaign. With a salary of that magnitude, I would have enough money to mobilise corporates around Kampala and sensitise them on strategic decision making. I would make them aware that taking out Shs20m as a loan to buy a Harrier and brag to friends is an insult to basic human intelligence. I would also make them understand that buying a Smartphone of Shs2m when you earn 800k is the sole reason Jesus hasn’t made his second coming. I would love to open up a school that I would name Socialites Let’s Use Our Time Profitably Institute(SLUOTPI). A two years salary would make me put up a considerable three block structure that would allow me offer degree courses in Let’s Find Something To Do courses. The socialites on the scene have looked redundant so my courses would make them learn how to use time profitably. The guys who sit at Uganda House the whole day reading newspapers would be well catered for at my school. With Bad Black serving time in the coolers, I would have to think hard for who I would have as Guild President. I would also love to open my own Commission of Inquiry with a few months’ salary. Uganda police has so often opened commissions of inquiry for the biggest scandals in Kampala but are yet to produce a report. That money should be able to solve the biggest puzzles that have hit our nation. I would also love to build a well furnished jail for whoever would be sane enough to pay me such ridiculous amounts of money in salary. But after the above projects have been fulfilled ofcourse.The teachers are drowning in chalk for little pay and yet someone could be earning immoral salaries for doing what? Uploading a snap on facebook. Let me pray hard the Shs96m thing was just a typo error and nothing more to it. Nice weekend guys.

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