So what should I do when I see a girl I like these days? I could just walk up to her, chat her up for a few minutes before I instantly propose marriage. She will probably say yes then we can start preparations as we bombard whoever cares with “wedding meeting” messages. A few weeks later, we can throw the mother of all weddings with everyone giving us a pat on the back for having given them a wedding to remember. With the wedding done, it’s just me and her. Complete strangers and we are probably back to square one.Damn!
So what I see around isn’t far different. The speed at which young people are rushing to tie the knot is mind boggling. You wonder why a 22-year-old girl straight from campus with little or no clue about life would want to “settle down”. Settle from what? Settle for who? You have barely had a life started and you’re already getting swayed by the lure of marriage. So when did Linda last see her beloved Auntie Jessica? The two were inseparable before Auntie Jessica kept tormenting her about whether she had found “someone”. Gary can no longer show face at a family function because for some reason they won’t think he is “man enough” without a lady on his arm. People like to see it as this defining transition from boy to man or girl to woman. Now that a man is married, he can sit comfortably on the table of men. That little ring now gives him an ego lift and he can now bounce his way into any clique and be accepted. Really? Should manhood be punctuated by a ceremony or a piece of aluminium wrapped around your finger? Some of these married men are even the ones who spend their evenings at girls’ hostels. Obviously they are looking for what they can’t find in the comfort of their marriage.
Is marriage emotionally rewarding? Not many people believe so. Are people always psychologically prepared to carry the weight of such a long term commitment? Most times they are not, like I have come to find out. Is marriage a gate pass to bliss? Hardly. All I see is people wanting a hide out or are just seeking acceptance. For many people I know, it just seems like the only logical step to take in life. They feel like since they are now of age, why not have a woman you can rush home to after a day’s work. Suppose the idea of marriage was never preached and no one had a clue what it was all about, would you still find the need to start a home with that girl you had the hots for? I highly doubt.
With the way children are running straight from their diapers onto the altar, someone would think marriage is some kind of heaven which sadly is not. They are looking for a Disney fairytale that only ends after the honeymoon and get to be hit with reality shortly after.
All I am saying is that people shouldn’t look at marriage as a do or die thing. I think it should be done at the right time for the right reasons with the right people and not because Maama Kevin is looking strangely at you for being single. So anyway, got to run off to some wedding meeting now. Laters!