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How to be… the provocative Tanga Odoi

 

IN YOUR FACE: He will say about anything and wherever his name is mentioned, be sure that Tanga Odoi will not wait to respond. This guy has such a fat ego and he will make you think his job is the best thing that could happen to anyone. He will be in your face even when you don’t want to.

Where there is Dr Tanga Odoi, there is trouble. Words fly, tempers flare, fists flinched. This is partly because he occupies the hot seat as chairman of NRM’s Electoral Commission. It is also partly because his ego is too fat for his slight frame. He has clashed with just about everyone in the NRM hierarchy. Not one to fret, Odoi always fires back at his critics. The likes of Tamale Mirundi and Kahinda Otafiire have not survived his wrath. Ever since he swapped the chalk at university for the ballot paper, the baldy fella has been on everyone’s lips. But obviously not on Sarah Opendi’s lips, who finds him somewhat “short and ugly”. No surprise there. But Sarah, you talk badly. This was said after Dr Tanga Odoi claimed that the young Opendi used to ‘overtie’ on him back in the day and still beefs him for rejecting her advances. If you missed the gist, everything started with Sarah Opendi accusing Tanga Odoi of spreading rumours that she bewitched the deceased LC5 chairperson of Tororo, Apollo Jaramogi. Odoi did not find this amusing at all and replied in typical Tanga Odoi-style, with a brush of arrogance. If you want to be like Tanga Odoi, here is your guide:

Be full of yourself
This guy thinks he is the “bizness”. He has always put himself out there as an all-knowing and all-conquering individual. Sevo definitely knows how to pick his people. All his interviews show a guy who loves to call the shots. I think people who have worked with him have suffered. He loves the cameras, the many journalists besieging him as they wait for his stand on an issue. Then he sits there gesturing with his hands as he hoodwinks the public. Hahaha. This regime was real designed for some people.
To be like Tanga, you really have to get yourself in a position where you are the centre of attraction. Work or bewitch your way to the top. Your posting as an office messenger or bank teller will not propel you to reach your full potential. Once you are at the top, behave like you swallowed a fat toad. Swing in that executive chair in your office as you throw orders around and become that boss everyone hates. If you are a not-so tall man in higher places, you will demand respect at all costs. Apparently insecurities about their height deficiencies make them want to control everything. They control everything from your life to the TV remote at home.

 

Village heartthrob
So apparently the young Sarah Opendi saw Dr Tanga Odoi’s bald head from afar and she was smitten. Opendi, a high school student couldn’t get enough of Tanga Odoi, a teacher then. She started trailing him for years but the resilient Tanga Odoi was like nara. Yes, Tanga Odoi was a heartthrob back then, mbuuuu. So Opendi is carrying a 20-year-old beef. If Tanga Odoi was the Idris Elba of his kaalo, all hope is not lost. Don’t let the receding hairline or your height deficiencies worry you. There will always be that one chick who gets very fragile around you. And when these girls finally come chasing you, give them the curve. Make them carry the pain of heartbreak for decades. These ladies must know that you don’t come easy. Chaps in Uganda get replies from hotties and take screenshots before framing them. Guys, pretend to be proud for once.

Married to controversy
Tanga Odoi is always in the face of controversy. At Makerere University, he was always confronting striking students. The professor often led those sit-down strikes by lecturers. His current job as NRM chairman of the Electoral Commission has put him further in the spotlight and face to face with some of the most controversial politicians in NRM. He has been accused of accepting bribes to nominate many candidates. There is where any person would ask for a glass of water or tap out. No one needs such negativity in their life.
If you want to be the next Tanga Odoi, you must have certain romanticism towards trouble and negativity. Be the kind to draw lots of happiness and comfort from situations like a strike. You should constantly be fire-fighting. Dating a nagging girlfriend or working in a place where everyone wants your head should get you started.
There you have it. Go be like Dr Tanga Odoi

editorial@ug.nationmedia.com

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