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How to be…Queen Sheebah

sheebaa

GO GETTER: She is the true definition of a go-getter, she is talented, she is sexy and she rocks the I don’t care attitude! She is Sheebah and she is the kind of crazy friend many will want to have and the sort of girl you want to find at a party, because she will keep it going. Fancy being like her? Here is your guide.

I think Sheebah Karungi has over achieved this year. What more can we ask of her, honestly? Hits? That would be criminal. Trust me, one more hit from her and people will be visiting psychiatrists. It is no secret that Sheebah has been the sole cause of madness on dance floors throughout 2016. The hits simply won’t expire. Maybe we can demand a wedding. I am not sure this would be a great idea though. We do not want Sheebah getting stressed out by some random man, harassing her to stop flashing too much skin in her trademark short skirts and generally robbing us of this fire-cracker of an entertainer. Wama Sheebah don’t get married. Kill us with those bangers, stay sassy and remain a free spirit. To think that I doubted this poor lass for even one second. I always thought that her talent was a bit sketched. That it came from the mechanical family of singers. You know those artistes who force stuff. The kind who wake up one morning and decide to dash to studio. The more I trolled her vocal ability, the more she kept firing hits as if bullets from a gun. Now the school drop-out from Kawempe can now fit in with the stars at the MAMAs. So whats your excuse to follow your dreams? Wanna be like Queen Sheebah? Here is your guide:

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Be a farmaaaaaa
Chill these farmers who use tractors to till. You will have to be like those ordinary farmers down in Lwera who rely on the hoe. The ones who dig for days and pray for rain. The ones who wake up to the shock of their crops eaten up by squirrels, only to plant again. The farmers whose soil bears no fruit for years but they still believe. Those farmers whose crops get stolen by the neighbours or get washed away by heavy rains. Be like the farmers whose teeth have turned yellow and eyes black from the dire living conditions in that village. But even after all this, they still have hope. Sheebah has worked her socks off to be at the top. She is the farmer who upgrades from a hoe to a tractor. Be gritty, chase your dreams. Even if it means camping at your plantation in the night to starve off the threat of those bu greedy animals, do it.

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Bad girl turned worse
The reason I like Sheebah is that she is not about to pretend to be someone she is not. She won’t go around donning a white cloak over her head and pretend to be a fresh-faced virgin. She is not there to please everyone. She won’t apologise for her raunchy outfits or her shisha-loving ways. She did not come on invitation. She broke into the industry like a thief, to steal the spotlight from whoever held it at the time. So people, embrace your bad side. Be yourself. Flaunt that ‘kundi’ show; just make sure you do not expose that scar you got from a C-Section (respect to these women). You can get sassy and decide to launch your legs in a mini-skirt. Just make sure you have been cleared of cellulite by the Ministry of Health. If you are a thief who is always running off with people’s money, show that bad side. We shall all gladly stone you.

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Consistency
Sheebah Karungi is very consistent everywhere, on the radio charts, the gossip pages and the supposed home-wrecker list. There is nothing that will surprise you. Whether she is releasing hits or wearing horrible make-up, Sheebah does this with such consistency, you wonder just how she does it. This year alone, we have had Ndiwanjawulo, Wadawa, Nkwatako, and Farmer rmx.The fire won’t stop. She has made it effortless to look a mess every time she steps out. Consistency! She keeps delivering with her false cleavage. Guys, have a consistent pattern with your life. If it is lies you want to tell your girlfriend, give her that. Do not take her on a roller-coaster ride because you will be the one to get bruised. These chaps who do not want to pay up when they borrow money, always lying about when they will pay up. Be consistent with your promises to pay up. You keep promising a girl to walk her down the aisle and then getting cold feet after. Boss, style up and be consistent.
So there you have it. Go be like Sheebah Karungi
2013: THE YEAR SHEEBAH RELEASED HER FIRST SINGLE, ICE CREAM, AND SHE HAS NEVER LOOKED BACK SINCE.

editorial@ug.nationmedia.com

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