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How to be … Maj Gen Mugisha Muntu


COOL GUY: FDC president Mugisha Muntu is not your usual firebrand politician. He cuts a demeanour of a guy that is too cool for our noisy politics. Ian Ford Nkera guides you on how to be like the former army commander.

If Ugandan politics were a high school, Maj Gen Mugisha Muntu would be that student who only shows up for class when there is a test or exam at the end of the term. He would also probably be the head prefect who dodged assembly to stay in dorm but resurfaced in times of elections. One of the most noticeable things about Gen Muntu is that he is very hard to notice. It’s very easy to forget the FDC president exists sometimes because of his quiet way of doing things. His supporters have always demanded that he shows more grit and aggressiveness in running party activities but he has insisted on working silently. ‘Mbu’ he is at the ‘grass-roots’.
After being floored in the FDC flag bearer elections by his rival Col Kizza Besigye, it will be interesting to see what Muntu has up his sleeve. If only Muntu had unveiled his beautiful wife prior to elections, maybe things would have been different. If you want to be like UPDF’s youngest ever army commander, here is your guide.


Youthful Muntu
Have you (closely) seen Mugisha Muntu? The guy doesn’t look a day over 40 and yet he is 57 years old. Amazing right? Dude actually looked way younger until he decided to worry about the entire nation’s issues. Politics was never his thing to be honest. As the Besigyes are busy running away from the Police, Muntu is never seen anywhere prompting the thought that he could be enjoying his ‘beauty’ sleep somewhere. What other logical reason could explain his refusal to age? Or maybe there must be something his wife is putting in his food. If you don’t want to age like Mugisha Muntu, my advice is work out more and have enough sleep. The problem with you guys is that you will want to sleep the whole day. That isn’t the case. If you are 35 but already look 60, I am afraid it is too late.

Bishop Mugisha Muntu
Gen Muntu shouldn’t be the one participating in politics but praying for our politics. Muntu has this nice guy vibe and humility about him that is sorely misplaced. He should have been ordained years ago as a bishop but he chose to draw battle swords with firebrands such as Nandala Mafabi and Kizza Besigye. I feel he could have used his gifts elsewhere. If you ever want to be like Muntu, be the warrior that looks like you couldn’t harm a fly. I want Muntu to preside over my wedding. (Laughs).
Silent Witness
Gen Muntu is not the aggressive type desperate to be in the news. He has always liked to work behind the curtains and quietly watch what is happening before acting. In the past, he claimed to be working tooth and nail to bring down President Museveni’s government without anyone watching and we are still waiting for results. Boy, we have waited! If you ever want to be like Muntu, you will have to be like those guys who pretend they are going about their business yet they want a workmates job. Be the chap that snoops around people’s desks when they head out for lunch. Whatever you do, make sure you are not seen. Muntu has mastered the art of invisibility. You just never see him and when you do, you never know where he has been hiding.

Muntu the consistent One
Gen Muntu has been very consistent in his message and purpose. That guy simply doesn’t feel Sevo and he doesn’t hide it. He just wants the guy gone in the shortest time possible. If you want to be like Muntu, its time to be consistent in the things you do. Stop dilly-dallying with people and let them know what’s up. Ladies, look that guy in the eyes and assure him how you want him to take his loins out of your life. Do not sugar coat things. Do not be allowed to be played around.
There you have it. Go ahead and be like Mugisha Muntu.

This is a humour column and the views expressed henceforth may not neccesarily be an objective assessment of the individual.

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