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How to be Funny Salvado

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Going places: He is one of the funniest guys on the Ugandan comedy scene and we are sure he is a role model to some of you out there. So, if you are looking to walk in his shoes, Ian Ford Nkera gives you a quick guide on how to be like Patrick ‘Salvado’ Idringi.
A decent paying job with one of the most recognised telecom networks in Uganda could have been enough to excite any man at the time but certainly not Patrick Idringi.The young telecom engineer then did the unthinkable and seemed to attempt career suicide by swapping a juicy job for a career on stage as a comedian.
While everyone, including his friends thought he was insane, he stood by his guns and somehow warmed his way into the hearts of adoring Stand Up comedy fans with his societal and tribal driven jokes. Today Salvado is a mainstay on Kampala’s ever-busy Stand Up comedy schedule, who has also travelled across Africa and around the world showcasing his talent. Corporate companies have been keen on his talent, offering him endorsement deals like that irritating “struggling to make ends meet” TV ad which can’t seem to go away. So how does the Ombokolo native do it?

Be on that hustle
Salvado has been up and down chasing gig after gig. If he isn’t on stage, he is on TV embarrassing himself with a guitar as he endorses different products. He is surely not sleeping and grinding by the day. If you are like the writer who is dozing off as he types away, then Idringi is not someone we would like to emulate. Stay awake and hustle.

Be brave
You should have a heart. It takes a lot of balls to look your parents in their eyes and assure them that you would rather be a jester than an engineer. No parent wants to educate their son and see them clown on stage for a pay cheque, but Salvado did and it’s working fine. It’s risky business and your revelations about following your passion could turn out disastrous. If you are a young lady who would like to ditch their fancy job for a career as a karaoke dancer, I am not too sure your father would be too pleased. I hear it pays well though. You could earn yourself wages of tabloid scandals, public scorn and a few other benefits. Be brave enough to follow your passion but weigh all options.

Be repetitive
Salvado has found a clever way of making his jokes sink in. If you didn’t get the joke the first time, you can be sure that you will hear it again. That is the Salvado strategy. He will say the same joke at different events for as many times so that he is sure that you got it the first time. He doesn’t take chances. Being like Salvado will require you to have a functioning recycle bin from which you can always refer for any old disposed jokes. A joke told is never old.

‘Guys I made it’
Whatever you do, make sure you are always visible in progress. Picking a leaf from Salvado’s book would dictate that we adopt a grand lifestyle when we start making it in life. If you are a proud tenant of a makeshift house in Bwaise, it is about time you notched it up a bit with a swanky pad somewhere in the plush neighbourhood of Muyenga. If you were madly in love with your dark-skinned childhood sweetheart Akello from Ombokolo, it might be the right time to ditch her ashy knees for a more refined light-skinned mixed race babe who can give your phone gallery more life. Don’t stay stagnant whatsoever.

Accept me for who I am
When ladies swooned over the chiseled body of telenovela star Salvado, they hoped they could find their own Salvado imitation on the streets of Kampala. To their shock, a certain comedian in the mould of Patrick Idringi presented himself as the ultimate ladies’ man, seasoned sex symbol and christened himself Salvado. They laughed at him but realised he was just another chubby child seeking acceptance, an they took him in. Afterall he even reminded them of the charming not-so attractive animation character of Shrek. Be the kind to flaunt yourself in whatever way. Don’t let the beer-induced pot belly hold you back from getting yourself that hot kyana next door.

No sex, no jokes
Salvado and a host of other comedians in Uganda have made their name from tribal mockery and sexually-skewed jokes which ideally isn’t bad but makes them too predictable. You can be sure that Salvado will deliver a joke on Baganda blah blah or something about female privates and you go like, there we go again. If you admire Salvado be the kind of person that uses their name or birthday as a password. That kind of predictability is what cyber thieves would gladly feed into. They would love you.

DISCLAIMER
This is a humour column and the views expressed henceforth may not neccesarily be an objective assessment of the individual.

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