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How to be Beti with the big brains



BETI KAMYA? Many may be scoffing at her for accepting to be in bed with the ‘enemy’ but for Beti Kamya, sometimes you have to stop fighting and get working. So as the former MP cum president hopeful takes office as minister for Kampala, Ian Ford Nkera tells you what she is all about and why you should aspire to be like her.

A story is told of a woman who played bridesmaid to all of her four young sisters and when her turn to get married finally came, you could almost bet who the lucky guy was – the cameraman! Not a big surprise there, considering that she was practically always in his face. Dude had no choice but to eventually notice her. For the lady, it was a triumph. It was time to put an end to the jeers, the endless questions and scorn from the public. Her advanced age notwithstanding, happiness had finally knocked at her door.
Beti Kamya can relate. Her recent appointment as minister of KCCA is by far the biggest break in her political career and you wouldn’t be faulted for calling her a late bloomer of sorts. The President, H.E Yoweri Museveni, is largely to thank for this. He must have sensed the frustration off a menopause-bound political career and breathed some life into it.
Beti Kamya can now put many years as a political novice behind her and focus on the Kampala City triangle with Erias Lukwago and Jenny from the Block. It is interesting to think of how that combination will pan out, but let’s wait and see. Otherwise, if you ever wanted to be like our new minister Kamya, here is your guide:

Be very calm
Beti Kamya’s calm voice would be the answer to all domestic violence cases in this country, I tell you. She has maintained a calm demeanour even when things have looked terrible for her. There is a level of maturity to the way she approaches things. You don’t get very many calm women in this city. Kamya will act as the lightning conductor for those Lukwago-Musisi storms. Kamya makes you appreciate God’s diversity in creation. She is a dying breed of politicians who put reason before emotion.
If you want to be like Beti Kamya, learn how to stop assuming and think through things first. It is this behaviour that raises anxiety and makes people say things they don’t mean. Do not shout at me when you find another girl’s panties at my place – Maybe I am starting an underwear business. This is a dream though. Kampala girls are not about to keep calm with all these things building up in their heads.

You can’t afford to be choosy
Who are you to judge Beti Kamya for ‘sleeping’ with the ‘enemy’? Time is not some chick strutting her stuff waiting to be vibed. Time does not wait. It runs as fast as it can. Forget all those people with unrealistic standards waiting for taxis that go to Kololo, which are simply not there.
You cannot be there waiting for the perfect guy with abs, good job when you are over 60 and you cannot afford to even freeze your eggs.
At a certain point in time, you cannot afford to be choosy. Beti Kamya chose to leave the Opposition in their katemba (theatrics) and accept a ministerial position from the government. For Kamya, the ‘proposal’ could not have come at a better time. Imagine the village boy you never thought of giving a chance in your early years showing up again at your door step when you are old and weary. Would you think twice? Never. Anything goes.
To be like Beti Kamya, you will have to lower your unreal standards and probably give chance to someone second best.

Be a hard-knock scholar
Beti Kamya’s political career has been a roller-coaster. She was the MP for Rubaga North from 2006-20011, tried to vie for the presidency in 2011 but failed miserably, and then tried another shot at reclaiming her Rubaga North seat in vain. One thing is for certain, Kamya has really tried. The odds have at times been against her but she has persevered. She has suffered a lot of stick for being objective in her criticism of the government.
To be like Kamya, you are never down and out. When life throws you lemons, make lemonade. If you check the first pocket and there is no money, check the second. If there is still no money, not to worry. Call Mr President.
There you have it. Go and be like Beti Kamya

DISCLAIMER: This is a humour column and the views expressed henceforth may not necessarily be an objective assessment of the individual or group.

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