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How to be…A Pass the attention seeker

WATCH ME: He caused quite a stir on social media recently when he bragged that his new haircut cost Shs2m. What BS, right? Well, that is A Pass for you. The same A Pass who almost forced Flavia Tumusiime to call a stalker alert on him for his incessant posts about her. This guy is always hungry for attention.

I think the world was a better place when Bagonza was still on foot, wore an ordinary haircut and bumped his trademark old moccasins’ few hit songs (this is relative) and some twisted Flavia fantasies down the road. A new irrecognisable A Pass is upon us. The guy has grown airs banange. Using his beloved social media accounts, he continues to remind us why our children need courses on how to deal with success. The once humble man is soaked up in the delusion of Facebook likes and social media followers. He can now afford to toy with impressionable fans about a Shs2m haircut, claims of being Uganda’s greatest musician and a bunch of other painful stuff. It is all entertainment to A Pass. However, it is a pity that his personality pales in comparison with his jams. We shall just vibe to Gamululu and what’s that other song of his? Wuuyo is it? Powerful piece of art right there. If you are reading this, A Pass, your attention seeking antics have been answered with an article in Uganda’s top daily.
To be like this guy Alexander Bagonza aka A Pass, The Teacher, here is your guide:

The Rise
This is the “gyenvudde” stage people look back upon when they have made it. It is certainly not the rosiest. You know, trying to convince people you are the baddest and people look at you like a damn fool. I am sure we have all been there. We brace the insults, the doubt but still match on. Bambi A Pass walked the streets hawking his music (mbu) and as expected, no one gave two hoots in the beginning. He remained grounded and humble. A Pass had the ka “Back To School” haircut. We marveled at how he looked like an altar boy yet he still belted out some hardcore dancehall chunes. Some feared he was too good a boy for the unforgiving music industry. Humility was his ace card and it worked wonders. Unfortunately for some of you kids, there is no other choice than to remain humble. You have nothing so accept to be considered ‘nothing’. Be the errand puppy in office or lick your boss’ boots. Dine with your colleagues, laugh with them but laugh at them on the inside. You know you are better than them but you gotta chill on their level for sometime. Attitude!

The Take-Off
That moment when they start taking you seriously, paying you some dimes. Problems and more problems. Imagine being used to seeing your face in passport photos and all of a sudden, it graduates to top newspapers like the Daily Monitor. It might get overwhelming. A Pass’ life changed fast. Truth, he has worked hard to be relevant with some good music and you can’t take that away from him. When ‘di gyal dems’ (excuse my fake patois, you can guess where I got that from) started shouting A Pass, the guy got confused. You see it with these young corporates who have just earned their first salary. They want the DJ to announce their arrival at nightspots or choke on drinks whose names they can’t pronounce. A Pass is in this phase. He now drives bambi and considers himself the greatest musician of all time whether you agree with him or not. And you thought? You guys ignored him so he now feels that he should show you what success feels like. Forget the kaweke artiste of the Tuli Kubigere video. He is now having ‘Shs2m’ haircuts and fantasising about the Flavia Tumusiimes and Anita Fabiolas of this world. Sorry Abwooli. Who knew?
To be anything like A Pass, success should excite you, however little. Get a few likes on Instagram and call a conference. You’re the man!

Stuck at Take Off
A Pass is a good artiste, no doubt. He has so many good songs in his arsenal but has never really blown up. Ever heard someone described as “being there there”? So much potential but you are exactly that, “there there”. A Pass is probably the Jack Wilshere of UG music. It’s like taking pints and convincing yourself that you are okay yet everyone can swear that you are not fine.
To be like A Pass, be so high on self-belief that you can’t see the big picture. Be too assured of virtually nothing. The wolves never sleep.
There you go. You can now be like Mr Alexander Bagonza aka A Pass

@InK_era35

editorial@ug.nationmedia.com

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